“Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester”
"Gesture" sounds a bit like "jester," and there's a pun that has been printed on GIFs: "Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice…
Archive for /P26140
“Eat here and get gas” (“food and gas”)
Many rural roadside establishments combine a restaurant with a gasoline filling station ("food and gas" or "food and fuel"). The classic sign for such a place is: "Eat Here…
“Eat here, diet home” (restaurant sign)
"Eat here (and) diet home" is a sign that has been posted in many restaurants. The sign has been cited in print since at least 1932, when it was featured in the syndicated newspaper…
“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees”
Basketball player Jason Kidd of the University of California was taken second by the Dallas Mavericks at the NBA draft on June 29, 1994. Kidd is reported to have said: "Now that I'm here,…
“Hamburgers love classical music. They go to the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How do we know that hamburgers love classical music?A: They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall! The joke has been cited in print since…
“Hamburgers love classical music. They go to the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How do we know that hamburgers love classical music?A: They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall! The joke has been cited in print since…
“How do you make a tissue dance?”/“Put a little boogie in it.”
"Booger" and "boogie" aren't the same, but there's a popular riddle: Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: Put a little boogie in it. The joke has been cited in print…
“Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?”/“Because the top said, ‘Twist to open.’”
A riddle about opening a jar is: Q: Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?A: Because the top said, "Twist to open." A form of the riddle -- with an "ant" dancing…
“What happened when the barman died?”/“The police held an inn-quest.”
A barman riddle is: Q: What happened when the barman died?A: The police held an inn-quest. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. Google BooksGoofy Jokes & GigglesBy Charles…
“What’s a fresh vegetable?”/“One that insults a farmer.”
What's a fresh vegetable? A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1979: Q: What do you call a carrot that insults a farmer?A: A fresh vegetable. Another form of the joke was posted on…
“What do cannibals eat for breakfast?”/“Buttered host.”
A cannibal breakfast riddle is: Q: What do cannibals have for breakfast?A: Buttered host. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups: rec.humorCannibal jokes! Was: Re: Can…
“What food is good for the brain?”/“Noodle soup.”
"Noodle" is slang for "brain." A popular riddle is: Q: What food is good for the brain?A: Noodle soup. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest…
“Why did the cannibal break up with his valentine?”/“She didn’t suit his taste.”
A popular Valentine's Day cannibal riddle is: Q: Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend/valentine?A: She didn't suit his taste. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“I like my women how I like my laptop. On my lap, turned on and virus free”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
“I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot and on my lap”
"I like my women like I like my coffee" is a meme that has been used on many images. "A Negro comedian pulled this one: 'I like my coffee strong and black -- the same way I like…
“I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons. You make me sick!”
A Valentine's Day joke is: GIRL: I can't be your valentine for medical reasons.BOY: Really?GIRL: Yeah, you make me sick! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 14 February…
“What’s the difference between you and a calendar?”/“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”
A Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What's the difference between you and a calendar?A: A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day. "What's the difference between you and a…
“What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th”
Do restaurants overcharge for Valentine's Day? "Dan" posted on Twitter on February 13, 2015: "What's the difference between a $15 steak & a $50 steak? February 13 &…
“Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?”/“Because you can really party hearty!”
A heart-based Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?A: Because you can really party hearty! The riddle was posted to the newsgroup…
“What did the chocolate sauce say to the ice cream?”/“I’m sweet on you!”
An ice cream riddle -- popular on Valentine's Day -- is: Q: What did the chocolate sauce/syrup say to the ice cream?A: "I'm sweet on you!" The riddle has been cited in print…