There are two jokes about "cleaning the attic with my/the wife." The first version was posted to the newsgroup alt.quotations on November 26, 1993 and has been credited to British…
You shouldn't test a fire alarm by starting a house fire, but there's a joke: "They say you should test your fire alarm every month. That would cost a fortune in houses." The…
"The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and trying to get it unstuck without hands" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. "The secret to dancing…
"Spilling your drink is the adult equivalent of letting your balloon go" -- that is, experiencing a great loss (in sentimental, but not in monetary value) -- is a jocular one-line saying…
What is "street smart"? On the American television comedy series My Name Is Earl ("Nature's Game Show" episode that aired on November 20, 2008), Joy and Darnell argued…
What is "street smart"? On the American television comedy series My Name Is Earl ("Nature's Game Show" episode that aired on November 20, 2008), Joy and Darnell argued…
Do bank tellers move slowly? One joke is: "The money is a nice bonus, but the real joy in robbing banks is watching the tellers move quickly for once." The one-liner was posted by John…
"When one door closes, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. A joke variation is: "If one door closes and another door opens, you’re probably in prison."…
A restaurant joke is: MALE CUSTOMER: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu, please?WAITRESS: The men I please are none of your damn business! The joke was posted by "AnOnion"…
A popular Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? A: Cauliflowers. The "flowers/cauliflowers" joke has been cited in print since…
"Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2012.…
"Oleg to stand on" is a pun for "a leg to stand on" and has been cited in print since at least 1946. A popular version was posted on Twitter on July 15, 2016: "One of the…
You shouldn't text while driving. Texting before driving is a different story. A joke is: "I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I…
"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many ecards. The saying was posted…
"I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor" is a jocular saying that has been prints on GIFs. The saying was posted by "A…
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less" is a saying that has been printed on many images It has frequently been credited to Irish author C. S. Lewis…
There's a difference between a school examination and a criminal examination, but there's a joke: Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams?A: "Dad,…
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One such politically incorrect joke is: Q: What was…
A math riddle has been printed on several images: Q: Why was the math book sad?A: Because it had so many problems. The riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1987. “I’m not sure how many…
"Calories? You mean delicious points" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "You call them calories. I call them yummy points" has also been printed on many…