“I like my women how I like my laptop. On my lap, turned on and virus free”

“I like my women like I like my coffee” is a meme that has been used on many images. “A Negro comedian pulled this one: ‘I like my coffee strong and black—the same way I like my women’” was cited in the New York (NY) Amsterdam News in July 1944. “Hot..and black, too” was an answer in 1973. “Hot and sweet” was cited in 1974. “Hot, sweet and black” was cited in 1994.
 
“I like my women like I like my laptop;  thin, sleek and on my lap.  with no viruses”—the same form as the coffee meme, but without coffee—was posted on Twitter on March 27, 2011. “I like my women like I like my new ThinkPad… On my lap, turned on and without any viruses” was posted on Twitter on August 1, 2012.  The one-line “laptop/computer” saying has been printed on several images.
 
“I like my coffee like I like my women” joke variations include “I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis,” “I like my coffee like I like my women. I don’t like coffee,” “I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer,” “I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup,” “I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot and on my lap” and “I like my women like I like my Starbucks. Expensive, bitter and calling me by the wrong name.”
 
     
29 July 1944, New York (NY) Amsterdam News, “Belittling Jokes Choke Minorities” by Abe Hill, pg. 8B, col. 1:
A Negro comedian pulled this one: “I like my coffee strong and black—the same way I like my women.”
   
12 May 1973, Journal and Guide (Norfolk, VA), “I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Women…,” pg. 10, col. 5:
“Madam,’ he said, ‘our coffee is cold. I like my coffee like I like my women—Hot!’
 
“‘Yes Sir,’ she replied with a grin. ‘And Black, too?’”
     
Google Books
WorkForce
Vocations for Social Change
Issues 38-43
1974
Pg. 28:
Part of the coffee ritual is forcing oneself to become inured to comments like: “Coffee, tea, or you7 ” or “I like my coffee like my women - hot and sweet.”
 
Twitter
Mickey Bruce
‏@mickeybruce25
I like my women like I like my laptop;  thin, sleek and on my lap.  with no viruses.
3:05 PM - 27 Mar 2011
 
Twitter
Frank
‏@TheMwiti
I like my women like I like my laptop…small and on my lap
6:52 AM - 16 Jun 2011
 
Twitter
Brandon Pope ABC 57
‏@BpopeTV
@tori_lay i like my women like I like my laptop. Thin, stylish, and on my lap. #BOOM
7:00 PM - 17 Jun 2011
 
Twitter
Michael Bates
‏@MikeimusPrime
“I like my women like I like my laptop. Thin, virus free and on my lap.”
1:17 PM - 10 Jul 2011
 
Twitter
Mr.Durden
‏@StonedMumbaiGuy
I like my women how I like my laptop , turned on and always on my lap .
3:12 AM - 13 May 2012
 
Twitter
MrJoeComo
‏@MrJoeComo
I like my women like I like my new ThinkPad… On my lap, turned on and without any viruses.
9:06 PM - 1 Aug 2012
 
Twitter
brendan
‏@TheRealBKineavy
“@TooMessedUp: I like my women how I like my laptop..
Sat on my lap, turned on and completely virus free..”
@iMikeItLikeThat
9:11 AM - 7 Oct 2012
   
Twitter
Because I’m a Guy
‏@CauseWereGuys
I like my women how I like my laptop… Sat on my lap, turned on, and with a mute button.
9:15 PM - 23 Jan 2013
 
Reddit—Jokes
I like my women like I like my computer
submitted October 27, 2916 by MrSubotic
Turned on On my lap And virus free
 
Reddit—Jokes
I like my women how I like my computer.
submitted December 8, 2016 by dream-hunter
On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.
 
Reddit—Jokes
I like my women how I like my computer.
submitted January 28, 2017 by WFMov
On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.