“They say there’s safety in numbers. Tell that to six million Jews”
Many people believe that there is "safety in numbers." "Fifty million Frenchmen can't be wrong" was a popular song in 1927. English stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr has used…
Archive for /P24160
“What does a fart from a hard-core milk drinker smell like?”/“Dairy-air.”
"Derrière" sounds like "dairy air." A milk joke was posted on Reddit -- Puns on August 23, 2017: Q: What does a fart from a hard-core milk drinker smell like?A: Dairy-air. A…
“Fruits and vegetables prevent constipation. That’s why they call it pro-deuce”
"Produce" sounds like "pro-deuce," and a pun is: "Fruits and vegetables prevent constipation. That's why they call it pro-deuce." "Deuce" means…
“Why do they call guns arms and arms guns?”
A gun is a "firearm," or "arms" in the plural. "Guns" is slang for "biceps." A popular question is: "Why do they call guns arms and arms guns?"…
“Why was the computer mad when he got home?”/“Because he had a hard drive.”
A computer riddle is: Q: Why was the computer mad when he got home?A: Because he had a hard drive. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 12, 2014, and on Reddit -- Jokes on September 15,…
“Capitalism without socialism is fascism. Socialism without capitalism is communism”
"Capitalism without socialism is fascism. Socialism without capitalism is communism" is a political science saying that has been printed on several images. Origin is unknown.…
“I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam, but I passed with flying colors”
Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a fireworks exam. "Just passed the fireworks inspection with…
“Glass buildings are just really elaborate sand castles”
Some people compare glass buildings with sand castles -- building materials that are seemingly fragile. "GLASS BUILDINGS ARE GIANT SAND CASTLES!" was posted on Twitter on September 3,…
“What do you call a teller on a tightrope?”/“Online banking.”
A banking riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 15, 2017: Q: What do you call a teller on a tightrope?A: Online banking. “Can you buy clothes pegs online?” and “Can you tell me…
“What’s red and green and wears boxing gloves?”/“A fruit punch.”
A fruit punch riddle is: Q: What's red and green and wears boxing gloves?A: A fruit punch. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. Google BooksSuper-Duper Good Clean Jokes for…
“The faster you climb an escalator, the more steps it takes to reach the top”
An escalator is a moving stairway, and this has led to a popular observation. "On an escalator, the faster you climb the steps the more of them you use. #escalatorwisdom" was posted on…
“Eating a cheeseburger is basically eating the cow, the cow’s milk, and the cow’s food”
A cheeseburger has meat, cheese and often lettuce. It is not kosher because of the milk and meat combination. A saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 15, 2017: "Eating a…
“Why do worms taste like chewing gum?”/“Because they’re wrigleys.”
A chewing gum riddle is: Q: Why do worms taste like chewing gum?A: Because they're wrigleys. The pun is on the word "wriggle" and "Wrigley" (a brand of chewing gum). The…
#Fedgibberish (Federal Reserve + gibberish)
"Odd She was confident a week ago. #fedgibberish" was posted on Twitter by Michael Lebowitz on July 13, 2017. "#FedGibberish!" (Federal Reserve + gibberish) by…
“How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/“None. They can’t reach that high.”
An tenor version of the "lightbulb joke" is: Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None. They can't reach that high. "How many tenors does it take to screw…
“You cannot pretend to play the air guitar”
"Air guitar" is pretending to play the guitar by fingering the air. "How do you pretend to play the air guitar???" was posted on Twitter on December 8, 2011. One can't…
“What is the most pirated Apple product?”/“iPatch.”
A joke about Apple Inc. is: Q: What is the most pirated Apple product?A: iPatch (eyepatch). The joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 13, 2017. Forms of the "iPatch" joke had…
“How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?”/“When the other tenors notice.”
A tenor riddle is: Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice. The tenor joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.music.classical on May 5, 1993. Wikipedia:…
“Unlocking your phone with facial recognition must suck if you’re a twin”
Many computer systems have facial recognition software, but does the system work for identical twins? Some facial recognition systems claim that twins can be recognized. The issue was discussed…
“What’s the difference between an ass-kisser and a brown noser?”/“Depth perception.”
A joke about bootlickers or sycophants has been printed on several images: Q: What's the difference between an ass-kisser and a brown noser?A: Depth perception. The joke has been cited in…