“What do you call a girl who works in a sunbed shop?”/“Tanya.”
The name "Tanya" sounds like "tan ya/you." A riddle has been cited in print since at least 2002: Q: What do you call the woman who operates your sun-bed?A: Tanya. "What do…
Archive for /P22860
“Why do kittens make good announcers?”/“Because they have wee paws for station identification.”
"We pause for station identification" has been said by radio announcers for many years. A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1940: Q: Why does a radio announcer have small…
“Celery farmers play the stalk market”
The stock market is sometimes punned as the "stalk" market. The "stalk market" puns have included bean, celery and corn jokes. "Q: How did the corn plant lose all her…
“We’ll, we’ll, we’ll, if it isn’t autocorrect”
"Well, well, well" is a common interjection. "We'll, we'll, we'll, if it isn;t autocorrect" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on…
“A peanut sat on a railroad track. His heart was all a-flutter…”
A popular quatrain about a peanut being squashed into peanut butter has been cited in print since at least January 1922: "A peanut sat on a railroad trackHis heart was all a-flutter,Along came…
“Peeling a fruit is like unwrapping a gift from the earth”
A fruit's peel is like gift wrapping. "Peeling fruit is like opening a gift from the Earth" was posted on Reddit -- Highdeas on August 29, 2017. "Peeling a fruit is like…
“When one door closes, sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails to make sure that stays shut”
"When one door closes, another opens" is an old saying about an opportunity lost and one gained. A joke about ending a bad experience was posted on Twitter by CherrySlushie on December…
“What surfs the internet and goes, ‘Choo, Choo’?”/“Thomas the Search Engine.”
An internet riddle is: Q: What surfs the internet and goes, "Choo, Choo"?A: Thomas the Search Engine. The pun is on the fictional steam locomotive Thomas the Tank Engine. "Thomas the…
“When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion”
Some people at school are victims of bullying. English comedian Tim Vine has used this joke in his act since at least 2008: "When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was…
“Where do beans invest their money?”/“The stalk market.”
The stock market is sometimes punned as the "stalk" market. The "stalk market" puns have included bean, celery and corn jokes. "Q: How did the corn plant lose all her…
“Studying is my drug. But thank God I say no to drugs”
"Studying is my drug. But thank God I say no to drugs" is a jocular anti-studying saying that has been printed on several images. "Studying is my drug" was posted on Twitter on…
“How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?”
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? In a 1964 television commercial and in print ads through the 1980s, the answer was that the snowplow driver drives a Volkswagen…
“Nillionaire is a fancier way of saying that you are broke”
"Nillionaire" is a portmanteau word combining "nil" (nothing) and the suffix from such terms as "millionaire" and "billionaire." The word…
“What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?”/“Find the nearest skyscraper.”
Skyscrapers don't actually reach the clouds, but they are still very tall buildings. A riddle has been printed on an image: Q: What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?A: Find the nearest…
“When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion”
Some people at school are victims of bullying. English comedian Tim Vine has used this joke in his act since at least 2008: "When I was at school, people used to throw gold bars at me. I was…
“Why do radio announcers need to have small hands?”/“Wee paws for station identification.”
"We pause for station identification" has been said by radio announcers for many years. A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1940: Q: Why does a radio announcer have small…
“When you stop and think about them, treadmills are really dangerous”
One shouldn't stop while on a treadmill that is still operating. A joke was posted on Twitter on March 19, 2010: "When you stop and think about them, treadmills are really…
“Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday? It was a tappy one!”
A joke about a dancer's birthday has been printed on an image: "Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!" The "tappy" birthday saying has been…
“I used to be addicted to swimming, but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for two years”
A joke about swimming -- and drinking -- was posted on Twitter by Alfie Moore on March 31, 2013: "I used to be addicted to swimming but I'm proud to say I've been dry for two years…
“Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage”
A theatre joke is: ""Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage." The "just going through a stage" pun has been cited…