“I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions”
"I don't need alcohol to make bad deicisons" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "I don't need alcohol to make poor decisions..." was…
Archive for /P22820
“I make serious coffee—so strong it wakes up the neighbors”
Strong coffee can wake a person up, but the neighbors, also? "I make serious coffee -- so strong is wakes up the neighbors" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many…
“If you can’t make both ends meet, make one end a vegetable”
The expression "make ends meet" shouldn't be confused with "make ends meat," but there have been puns. A joke was printed in the New York (NY) Herald on August 5, 1877:…
“Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions”
"I don't need alcohol to make bad deicisons" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "I don't need alcohol to make poor decisions..." was…
“Why does cheese look sane?”/“Because everything else on the plate is crackers.”
A cheese riddle is: Q: Why does cheese look sane?A: Because everything else on the plate is crackers. "Why does cheese look sane? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers" was…
“What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?”/“Cheddarrrr.”
A pirate riddle about cheese is: Q: What's a pirate's favorite cheese?A: Cheddarrrr / Havarrrrrti / Yarrrrrrrrlsberg. "'Pirate's favorite cheese?'…
“Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of jogging every day”
"Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does. That's why I think of jogging every day" is a jocular anti-exercise saying that has been printed on several images.…
“What would be a Cornish pirate’s favorite cheese?”/“Yarrrrg.”
A pirate riddle about cheese is: Q: What would be a Cornish pirate's favorite cheese?A: Yarrrrg. Cornish Yarg is a semi-hard cow's milk cheese made in Cornwall, England. "Ah Yarg,…
“What does cheese like to drink?”/“Morbier.”
Morbier cheese sounds like "more beer." A popular riddle is: Q: What does cheese like to drink?A: Morbier. "Which cheese has a drinking problem?" was cited in 2013. "Q:What…
“Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it”
"Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“What is a lion’s favorite cheese?”/“Roar-quefort.”
A lion riddle about cheese is: Q: What is a lion's favorite cheese?A: Roar-quefort. "What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort" was posted on Twitter by Cheese Jokes on…
“What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?”/“Limburger.”
Limburger cheese (originating from the historical Duchy of Limburg, which is now divided between Belgium, Germany) doesn't contain any limbs, but there's a riddle: Q: What is a…
“Of all my body parts, my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day”
An eye roll isn't really much of a physical exercise, but there are jokes. An exercise saying has been printed on many images: "Of all my body parts, my eyes get the most exercise, I do…
“The earth used to be flat…until they buried yo mama”
A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "The earth used to be flat...until they buried yo mama." "Yo mamas so fat, the earth was flat until somebody buried…
“The gold and other items of value placed in Egyptian tombs was the very first cryptocurrency”
"Cryptocurrency usually doesn't involve any ancient Egyptian crypts, but there have been several jokes. "I refuse to jump on the cryptocurrency bandwagon and instead will only pay in…
“$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered”
College textbooks are expensive. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 3, 2018: "$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered."…
“I go to the gym almost every day—almost Monday, almost Tuesday…”
"I go to the gym almost every day -- almost Monday, almost Tuesday..." is a joke spoken by someone who almost never goes to the gym. "I go to the gym almost every day. Almost Monday,…
“What type of singer sings about candy?”/“A candy wrapper.”
A music "rapper" shouldn't be confused with a candy "wrapper." "M&M (eminem) sings 'I'm a Candy Wrapper'" was posted on Twitter on May 27,…
“If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules”
"If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules" and "If a bacon package isn't resealable, it contains one serving. That's science. I…
“There’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a pizza”
"There's something missing in my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito/pizza" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel…