“Cargo space?”/“Car no do that. Car go road.”
"Cargo space?" is a question about the cargo space of a car. It is not about outer space, but there are jokes. "Customer: 'Cargo space?' Me: 'No, car go on road. Car…
Archive for /P17500
“A guy walks into a bar…lucky bastard” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, most bars were closed. The joke was:…
“We repair what your husband fixed” (repair company slogan)
"We repair what your husband fixed" is a jocular slogan for many repair companies that has been printed on many images. The saying means that the husband really did not fix the problem.…
“The wife and I have been in lockdown for eight days now. No fucking way I’m retiring”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in lockdowns. Family members got on each other's nerves. "The wife and I have been in lockdown for eight days now. One thing's for sure,…
“Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. This was posted on Facebook by Camano Animal Shelter Association on March 30, 2020: "Quarantine has turned us all into dogs. We roam…
“A man walks into a bar…lucky bastard” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, most bars were closed. The joke was:…
“What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?”/“Coronavirus & Verona Crisis.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemi shouldn’t be confused with Romeo and Juliet (a Verona crisis), but there are jokes. “You’ve heard a lot about corona virus, get ready to learn about a Verona…
“A King caught his Queen watching Pawn one Knight in the Castle and decided to report to the Bishop”
A chess joke/pun was posted on Twitter by Oluwadamiloju 'Da UniBrow' Saliu on December 8, 2019: "A King caught his Queen watching Pawn one Knight in the Castle and decided to report…
“If you water water, it grows”
"If you water water, it grows...." was posted on Twitter by conner on July 15, 2018. "If you water water, it grows" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on March 27, 2019.…
“Cinco De Mayo on Taco Tuesday and it’s ruined by a virus with the same name as a Mexican beer”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic ruined plans for Cinco de Mayo (Tuesday, May 5, 2020). "Cinco De Mayo finally lands on Taco Tuesday this year, and it will be messed up by a virus with the…
“Tuba = Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus”
"Scuba" is an acronym for "self-contained underwater breathing apparatus." "Tuba" is not an acronym, but there are jokes. "She got the SCUBA acronym correct, then…
Shamdemic (sham + pandemic)
"Shamdemic" (sham + pandemic) has been used to describe a fake pandemic. "Shamdemic" was posted on the newsgroup misc.health.aids on September 9, 2004. The 2009 swine flu…
“All this anxiety better be burning calories”
"All this anxiety better be burning calories" was posted on Twitter by Woman on February 2, 2017. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created anxiety and made the line newly popular.…
“Remember wishing the weekend would last forever? Happy now?” (quarantine joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people quarantining in their homes. For people who worked Monday through Friday, it suddenly felt like every day was part of a weekend.…
“Drinking at home instead of the bar isn’t working out. I almost asked my wife for her number!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars closing. Liquor stores were deemed essential businesses and were kept open. People drank at home. "Quarantine Day 19. Drinking at home…
“Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people working from home. Many people did not even get dressed all day. "Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this…
“I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled the vacation plans of many people. They stayed at home instead. "After work I’m taking a little trip to Puerto Backyarda for the day. Bon voyage!…
“Day 35 of quarantine; Can you blink a little more quietly please?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home in quarantine. Many family members got on each other's nerves. "Day 35 of the quarantine...Can you blink a little…
“Some people write ‘lockdown’ because they can’t spell Kwarinteen”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in lockdowns/quarantines. "Some people write lockdown because they can't spell kwarinteen" was posted on Facebook by Äł Bina on April…
“The City that Never Sleeps is taking a nap” (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)
New York City has been called the "City that Never Sleeps." The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, however, resulted in many closures. "New York City — the city that never sleeps —…