“Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. He was working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to work from home. What did burglars do? "I'm working from home,as a burglar I've robbed my own house 150 times in the last…
Archive for /P17520
“At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go”
"At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to the clown in It, a 1986 horror novel by…
“Don’t open a ‘Ding, Dong’ email! It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused people to quarantine in their homes. Jehovah's Witnesses who normally knocked on doors (or rang the doorbells) no longer did that. "If you get a…
Locktail Hour (lockdown + cocktail hour)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic lockdown gave birth to the portmanteau word "locktail" (lockdown + cocktail). "We have the locktail (equal parts gin, sweet vermouth and dry…
“Imitation crab meat is the string cheese of the sea”
Crab sticks have been compared to string cheese -- a popular snack, but perhaps not the healthiest food. "I love the whole 'krab leg' concept. Wholly un-crab-like, but it's like…
“If you’re down by the schoolyard, stay away from Rosie. She’s the Queen of Corona”
New York City-raised singer-songwriter Paul Simon sang these lyrics in the song "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard" (1972): "Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona." Simon was…
Locktail (lockdown + cocktail)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic lockdown gave birth to the portmanteau word "locktail" (lockdown + cocktail). "We have the locktail (equal parts gin, sweet vermouth and dry…
Isobeard (isolation + beard)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to live in isolation. Many men grew beards, sometimes given the portmanteau word "isobeard" (isolation + beard).…
“Hope they allow us off lockdown by July 4th, so we can celebrate our freedom”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people locked down in their homes. July 4th is the Independence Day holiday in the United States. "I hope this lockdown ends by the 4th of…
“Days are now divided by coffee hours and alcohol hours”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down in their homes. People drank a lot of coffee and alcohol to get through it. "Days are now divided by coffee hours and…
“Don’t open a ‘Knock, Knock’ email! It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused people to quarantine in their homes. Jehovah's Witnesses who normally knocked on doors (or rang the doorbells) no longer did that. "If you get a…
“Single man with Purell and Lysol seeking single woman with toilet paper for good clean fun”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made for some jocular personal ads. "Single woman with Lysol and sanitizer seeking single man with toilet paper for some good clean fun" was posted on…
“Can anyone recommend a good breakfast wine?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic closed many businesses, but liquor stores were deemed essential and stayed open. Many people drank -- even in the morning. "What’s a good breakfast…
“Hoarders suffer from ‘stock home’ syndrome”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to hoard. "Stock home syndrome" (for Stockholm syndrome) was a popular pun, although it had been used earlier. "Are we really…
“Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made for some jocular personal ads. "Single woman with Lysol and sanitizer seeking single man with toilet paper for some good clean fun" was posted on…
“Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly. Next week: turn signals”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak came with many public announcements to wash hands. Many people used this to joke about learning other basic things. "For those of you that just adopted…
“Stepped on my scale this morning and it said: ‘Please use social distancing, one person at a time’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home -- and gain weight. "Bathi even the scales have started asking for social distancing, one person at a time kinda vibes…
Seagan (sea + vegan)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Urban DictionarySeaganA modified vegan who also eats seafood. Distinguished from a pescetarian in that they do not eat eggs or dairy.Yo...do we have any vegans coming to…
“People who are enjoying lockdown have ‘stuck home’ syndrome”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be stuck at home. "Stuck home syndrome" (for Stockholm syndrome) was a popular pun, although it had been used earlier. "In a…
QuarantEaster (quarantine + Easter)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines, and this occurred on the Easter 2020 religious holiday on April 12, 2020. "QuarantEaster" or "Quaranteaster"…