“Today would have been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
Archive for 12/2025
“Today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Buying myself a little treat today because today would have been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Buying something nice for myself because today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Ordering myself a little treat because today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Getting myself a treat because today would have been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“My job is really stressful, but at least the pay is bad”
People rationalize having a stressful job with the comfort that at least the pay is good, but often the pay isn't good. This sarcasm was posted on X/Twitter by Crying Orc on May 2, 2025, and…
“To avoid burnout at work use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years”
There are several imagined "30-30" work rules, about what someone should do after 30 minutes of work. These "rules" are jokes on the "20-20-20 rule" for digital eye…
“My job can be stressful, but at least it pays pretty bad and the hours are also pretty bad”
People rationalize having a stressful job with the comfort that at least the pay is good, but often the pay isn't good. This sarcasm was posted on X/Twitter by Crying Orc on May 2, 2025, and…
“My work here is dumb” (joke)
"My work here is done" shouldn't be confused with "my work here is dumb," but there are jokes. This was posted on X/Twitter by "@natesmith.dev on bsky" on…
“Oh, you get a runners’ high? Well I get a walker’s delight. I get to actually enjoy my surroundings”
Runners sometimes get a "runner's high" (a transient state of euphoria). Walkers sometimes get something similar, but in a milder form. "runners high -- walkers low" was…
“Reminder that they can’t pardon the turkey for state level crimes”
The U.S. president usually pardons two turkeys right before Thanksgiving. A joke about this is that a president cannot pardon a turkey for state-level crimes. "Quick reminder, Trump can’t…
“The patron saint of playgrounds is St. Francis of a seesaw”
Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone (1181-1226) is known as St. Francis of Assisi. There is no St. Francis of a See-Saw, but there are jokes. "I pray to the saint of ups and downs. St. Francis of…
“Much ado is made about ‘runner’s high,’ but more attention should be given to the humble ‘walker’s buzz’”
Runners sometimes get a "runner's high" (a transient state of euphoria). Walkers sometimes get something similar, but in a milder form. "runners high -- walkers low" was…
“You’ve heard of the runner’s high, but what do you know about the walker’s mid?”
Runners sometimes get a "runner's high" (a transient state of euphoria). Walkers sometimes get something similar, but in a milder form. "runners high -- walkers low" was…
“I pray to the saint of ups and downs. St. Francis of a See-Saw”
Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone (1181-1226) is known as St. Francis of Assisi. There is no St. Francis of a See-Saw, but there are jokes. "I pray to the saint of ups and downs. St. Francis of…
“School is important, guys. Imagine not knowing what a group of fish is called”
A group of fish is called a "school," and there is a joke about this. "School Is Important Bafwethu. Now Imagine Not Knowing What A Group Of FISH Is Called🙄😏!" was posted…
“The existence of a gravy boat and a gravy train implies an entire gravy transportation system. Why isn’t anyone talking about this?”
A "gravy boat" is a sauce boat. A "gravy train" is a source of easy money. There are jokes about "gravy transportation." "There's a gravy boat and a gravy…
“The officer said, ‘You drinking?’ I said, ‘You buying?’ We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money”
A driving-under-the-influence (DUI) joke has been printed on many images. "OK.. word to the wise... when officer pulls you over and asks 'You drinking?'.... dont answer back by…
“Don’t put words in my mouth. That’s where cheese goes”
Are mouths for talking or for eating? A popular meme suggests it's the latter (eating). "don’t put words in my mouth that’s where the hotdogs go" was posted on X/Twitter by bah…