“Me: I’m sad. I need a purpose My brain: Did you say a purchase?”
"Me: I'm sad. I need a purpose My brain: Did you say a purchase?" has been printed on many images. This post on Twitter by dirt prince on August 9, 2018 received over 300,000 likes:…
Archive for 01/2021
“When a bicycle thief goes to jail, it is because he was peddling stolen goods”
"Peddling" is not the same as "pedaling," but there are jokes. "Did you hear about the bicycle thief? He was caught peddling stolen goods!" was posted on Facebook by…
“Let’s see, which emotional issues shall I bury under deep layers of sarcasm today?”
"Let's see, which emotional issues shall I bury under deep layers of sarcasm today?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Let's see, which emotional issues…
“Hubby and I exchanged Valentine’s Day cards at the store. Then we put them back on the rack”
"The wife and I exchanged Valentine's Day cards at the store. Then we put them back on the rack...DONE!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying -- in…
“Wife and I exchanged Valentine’s Day cards at the store. Then we put them back on the rack”
"The wife and I exchanged Valentine's Day cards at the store. Then we put them back on the rack...DONE!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying -- in…
“What do you call a crazy judge?”/“Judge-mental.”
A judge riddle is: Q: What do you call a crazy judge?A: Judge-mental. "What do you call a crazy judge? Judgemental. http://bit.ly/PjmEfg via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh…
Big Apple Grill & Bar (Puryear, TN and Murray, KY)
The Big Apple Grill & Bar is located at 1005 Arcadia Circle in Murray, Kentucky, and has a long history serving students from Murray State University. The establishment has also been called…
“Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?”/“The anesthesia wasn’t local.”
People are often encouraged to eat locally sourced food and to shop local. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2017: Q: Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?A: The anesthesia…
“I figured out why Teslas are so expensive. It’s because they charge a lot”
A Tesla is an electric vehicle, and it is expensive. A Tesla joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 21, 2021: "I figured out why Teslas are so expensive. It’s because they charge a…
“A horse walks into a bar. Show jumping at its worst” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several show jumping variations. "A horse walk's into a bar, Needless…
“A man bitten twice by the same snake is a fool”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“I just yelled into a colander and strained my voice”
A colander is a kitchen utensil used to strain foods. "I just yelled into a colander and strained my voice" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "I just yelled into a…
“I think I aced my drug test at work yesterday. Nobody got higher than me”
Getting high on a test might be good, but getting high on a drug test might be bad. "I think I aced my drug test at work yesterday. Nobody got higher than me" was posted on Reddit --…
“Popcorn is a sponge that feeds you butter”
Many people like lots of butter on their popcorn. "@Lybbe you are right about the popcorn but to me, it's just a vehicle for eating butter and parmaesan cheese" was posted on Twitter…
“Money can buy a lot of things, but it doesn’t wiggle its butt every time you come in the door”
"Money can buy a lot of things, but it doesn’t wiggle its butt every time you come in the door" -- that is, money can't buy a dog's love -- is a saying that has been printed…
Four Rules of Plumbing (joke)
"Three Rules of Plumbing" or "Three Laws of Plumbing" -- sometimes four -- is a jocular list that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown, but the rules/laws have…
Three Laws of Plumbing (joke)
"Three Rules of Plumbing" or "Three Laws of Plumbing" -- sometimes four -- is a jocular list that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown, but the rules/laws have…
“Don’t let the same snake bite you twice”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“Never let the same snake bite you twice”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“A high five is just a multiplayer clap”
A "high five" involves two people, and is often seen in sports. "a high five is just a multiplayer clap" was posted on Twitter by roguax on December 16, 2014. "A high five…