“My boss calls me ‘The Computer.’ I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes”
"My friends call me 'The Computer'. Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes" was posted on Twitter by Ben on May 20, 2015.…
Archive for 01/2021
“What do you call an indecisive potato?”/“A hesi-tater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Why do people pull their mask down to listen better?”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people wearing face masks. Some people took off their masks to listen to another person, even though the face masks have nothing to do with…
“What do you call an uncertain potato?”/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“What do you call a reluctant potato?”/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Barbecuing waters my mouth. I wonder if the same thing happens to vegans when they mow the lawn”
"When your steaks on the grill and your mouth starts to water. I wonder if the same thing happens to vegans when they mow the lawn" is an anti-vegan saying that was posted on Twitter by…
“Why did the apple turnover?”/“Because it saw the cheese roll.”
There are several apple turnover riddles that involve a jelly roll, a cheese roll and a sausage roll. This was printed in the Uniontown (PA) Evening Standard on August 3, 1961: Q: Why did the apple…
Hawaii: “Why do Cyclops have trouble spelling Hawaii?”/“You need two ‘i’s.’”
A joke about spelling "Hawaii" was posted on Twitter by Jon on October 30, 2017: CYCLOPS: How do u spell Hawaii?WIFE [biting lip] well..u need 2 i'sCYCLOPS [puts pen down] my life is…
“What do you call a cautious potato?/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Why did the apple turnover?”/“Because it saw the sausage roll.”
There are several apple turnover riddles that involve a jelly roll, a cheese roll and a sausage roll. This was printed in the Uniontown (PA) Evening Standard on August 3, 1961: Q: Why did the apple…
“Why did the apple turnover?”/“Because it saw the jelly roll.”
There are several apple turnover riddles that involve a jelly roll, a cheese roll and a sausage roll. This was printed in the Uniontown (PA) Evening Standard on August 3, 1961: Q: Why did the apple…
“Am I perfect? No. But am I trying to be a better person? Also no”
"Am I perfect? No. But am I trying to be a better person? Also no" is a jocular and all-too-realistic saying that has been printed on many images. "Am I a good person? No. But am I…
“I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow”
"I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow" is a jocular saying about procrastination that has been printed on many images. "I had a lot of stuff to…
“Sprinkles are just glitter for food”
"Sprinkles are just glitter for food" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "Sprinkles are like edible glitter" was posted on Twitter by Sexy Brilliance on…
“George Washington is the only president to have been drawn and quartered”
U.S. President George Washington (1732-1799) is on the Washington quarter. He was not "quartered" (as in "hanged, drawn and quartered" -- cut into four pieces), but there are…
“Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?”
"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…
“You say drunk and disorderly. I say spirited and spontaneous”
"You say drunk and disorderly. I say spirited and spontaneous" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "You say drunk and disorderly I say spirited and…
“Sprinkles are edible glitter”
"Sprinkles are just glitter for food" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "Sprinkles are like edible glitter" was posted on Twitter by Sexy Brilliance on…
“How come so many small towns are named after water towers?”
"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…
“Why do people pull their mask down to hear better?”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people wearing face masks. Some people took off their masks to listen to another person, even though the face masks have nothing to do with…