“After work, I volunteer to help blind children” (joke)
"In my spare time I help blind children. I mean the verb, not the adjective" is a dark joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 9, 2016. "After work, I volunteer to help blind…
Archive for 07/2020
“I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I just walk towards the automatic doors…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many store closures. This comment was posted on Twitter by Samuel J Comroe on Julhy 1, 2020: "I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I…
“To get to the time machine.”/“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A time machine version was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 5,…
“In my spare time, I help blind children” (joke)
"In my spare time I help blind children. I mean the verb, not the adjective" is a dark joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 9, 2016. "After work, I volunteer to help blind…
Face Nappy (face mask)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. The masks were sometimes called a "face nappy" in the United Kingdom. "Pathetic डरपोक…
“Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better. Those people are bartenders”
"Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better. Those people are called bartenders" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Sometimes you run into…
“There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?”
A trombonist joke has been cited in print since at least 1992: "There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this? The frog's probably on its way…
“How do knights communicate?”/“Chain mail.”
"Chain mail" (amour) shouldn't be confused with postal service mail or email, but there is a riddle: Q: How do knights communicate?A: Chain mail. The joke was posted on Twitter by…
Face Diaper (face mask)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. The masks were sometimes called a "face diaper" in the United States. "He can't cover his…
“Better 6 feet away than 6 feet under” (social distancing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing requirements that people should be six feet apart from one another. "Better six feet apart than six feet under" was posted…
“You’re not a firework. Don’t drive lit”
"You're not a firework. Don't drive lit" is a safe driving slogan that has been printed on many images. The saying is popular around July 4th (when fireworks are popular).…
“Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under” (social distancing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing requirements that people should be six feet apart from one another. "Better six feet apart than six feet under" was posted…
“Better six feet away than six feet under” (social distancing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing requirements that people should be six feet apart from one another. "Better six feet apart than six feet under" was posted…
“Did you hear about the new low-fat religion? ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buddha’”
"I can't believe it's not Buddha!" is a pun on "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" that has been printed on many images. Buddha is often depicted as fat.…
Maskne (face mask + acne)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. Some people developed skin problems from the masks. The portmanteau word "maskne" (face mask + acne)…
“The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions of you”
"The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions of you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The BEST weight you’ll ever lose is the…
“A Tibetan monk sees Jesus in a tub of margarine and cries, ‘I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!’”
"I can't believe it's not Buddha!" is a pun on "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" that has been printed on many images. There have been several jokes.…
World Horror Organization (World Health Organization or WHO nickname)
The World Health Organization (WHO) is a specialized agency of the United Nations concerned with public health. Some WHO critics give it the nickname "World Horror Organization."…
“Was going to make a joke about my paycheck. Turns out I have insufficient puns”
"Was going to make a joke about my paycheck. Turns out I have insufficient puns" -- a pun on "insufficient funds" -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 21, 2016. The joke…
“Home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy it”
"Home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "YES!!!!! RT @Sassycas home is where I can look and feel ugly and enjoy…