“The coronavirus won’t last long because it was made in China”
China has a reputation for making a lot of cheaply made products. A joke about the 2019–20 Wuhan coronavirus outbreak has been printed on many images: "The coronavirus won't last long…
Archive for 02/2020
“Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it”
What wakes someone up faster than drinking a cup of hot coffee? "Spilling coffee on one's self wakes one up much more efficiently than actually drinking it" was posted on Twitter by…
“Dropping a cup of coffee usually wakes you up more than drinking it”
What wakes someone up faster than drinking a cup of hot coffee? "Spilling coffee on one's self wakes one up much more efficiently than actually drinking it" was posted on Twitter by…
“I would never try to poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich”
"I would never try to poison you, Now eat your Pb and Jelly Sandwich" is a science joke that has been printed on many images. "Pb" stands for both "peanut butter" and…
“What do you call a genetically engineered cow?”/“A mootant.”
Would a mutant cow be called a "moo-tant"? "'Mootant' comic book - a cow with the X-Men logo" was posted on the newsgroup rec.arts.comics.misc on October 23, 1992.…
“I accidentally blew up my chemistry lab in high school. Oxidants happen!”
"Oxidants happen" -- a pun on "accidents happen" is a chemistry joke that has been printed on many images. "Oxidants happen" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns…
“I used to have a riding academy, but business kept falling off”
"I used to have a riding academy, but business kept falling off" is a horse joke that was printed in the book Milton Berle's Private Joke File (1989) by Milton Berle. "I used to…
“I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator”
"I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator" -- that is, the person ate too much and can't fit into the same clothes -- is a jocular saying that…
“Did you hear about the funeral home that closed? Apparently business was dead”
The expression "business is dead" is usually not taken literally, but there are some jokes. "I have a friend who just got a job as an attendant at a funeral home...he informed me…
“I used to run a riding school, but business kept falling off”
"I used to have a riding academy, but business kept falling off" is a horse joke that was printed in the book Milton Berle's Private Joke File (1989) by Milton Berle. "I used to…
“CPR is just the human version of blowing into a video game cartridge hoping it’ll work again”
"CPR is (just) the human version of blowing into a video game cartridge hoping it'll work again" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "CPR is the human…
“Sometimes I delete my own posts because I’m not the same person I was 5 minutes ago”
"Sometimes I delete my own posts because I'm not the same person I was 4-5 minutes ago" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Sometimes I delete my own…
“Home is where your plants are”
"Home is where my/the/your plants are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The variation is based on the 19th century saying, "Home is where the heart is."…
“Home is where the plants are”
"Home is where my/the/your plants are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The variation is based on the 19th century saying, "Home is where the heart is."…
“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fuck cologne”
"Leave me the fuck alone!" is not the name of a cologne, but there are jokes. "Its my cologne! called leave me the fuck alone! Haha" was posted on Twitter by Oleg D on June 19,…
“An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion”
"An opinion without 3.14 is (just) an onion" is a math joke that has been printed on many images. The word "opinion" has "pi" in it. "'An OPINION without…
“Why call it a land dispute, and not ground beef?”
"Overheard in the @KBOITV newsroom: 'Could a land dispute also be called ground beef?' -- @JakeLeberKBOI" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Brent Hunsaker on January 11,…
“Coffee: Mother Nature’s jumper cables”
"Coffee isn't helping/working. Get the jumper cables!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Coffee helps humans like jumper cables help to start a car. "Will…
“You can’t build with someone who ain’t trying to help you carry the bricks”
"You can't build with someone who ain't trying to help you carry the bricks" is a relationship saying that has been printed on many images. The expression compares building a…
“Coffee isn’t working. Get the jumper cables!”
"Coffee isn't helping/working. Get the jumper cables!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Coffee helps humans like jumper cables help to start a car. "Will…