“Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers”
"Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Teenagers (and cats) can understand better than babies (and dogs), but…
Archive for 01/2020
“When we grow up, checking for monsters under the bed becomes checking our bank accounts”
"When we grow up, checking for monsters under the bed becomes checking our bank accounts. Equally terrifying" and "As an adult, checking the bank account is the equivalent of…
“Weekends used to feel like mini vacations. Now they feel like the minute boxers get”
Weekends often seem to go by quickly. "Weekends used to feel like mini vacations. Now they feel like the minute boxers get between rounds" is a saying that has been printed on an image.…
Saratoga: Queen of the Spas (nickname)
Saratoga Springs, New York, became popular in the 19th century for its natural mineral springs. Saratoga was frequently called the "Queen of the Spas" or "Queen of American…
“Why didn’t the donkey cross the road?”/“Because he saw what happened to the zebra.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A chicken/donkey version is: Q: Why didn't the chicken/donkey a…
“Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?”/“Because he saw what happened to the zebra.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A chicken/donkey version is: Q: Why didn't the chicken/donkey a…
“Coffee is the best Monday motivation”
"Coffee is the best Monday motivation' is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Coffee is the best Monday motivation ☕☕☕☕☕" was posted on…
“Stop taking Facebook so seriously. Most of your likes are coming from people on the toilet”
"Stop taking Facebook so seriously. Most of your likes are coming from people on the toilet" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Stop taking Facebook so…
“Grape: Wine in pill form”
"Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Someone offered me…
“Pretty rude that it’s not Friday, but ok”
"Pretty rude that it's not Friday, but ok" is a non-Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "Very rude that it's not Friday" was posted on Twitter by KiKi…
“The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth”
Toddlers put many things in their mouths, then often run away quickly when a parent tries to take it out. "The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth"…
“I’ll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please”
"I'll have a café mocha vodka Valium latte to go, please" is a jocular order (combining various popular daily infusions) that has been printed on many images. “I’ll have a cafe…
“Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I’m not used to consuming wine in pill form”
"Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Someone offered me…
“You ever hit a pothole so hard you apologize to your car?”
Some people apologize to their car. "Ever drive through a huge pot hole and immediately apologize to your car... Sort've as a preventative measure to ensure no car backlash" was…
“I think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from yesterday”
"I think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from yesterday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I think I still have some unfinished…
“Life could be worse. Milk could have pulp”
"Life could probably be worse. milk could have pulp. that's a pretty shitty thing we don't have to live with" was posted on Twitter by тαу (and others) on February 11, 2015.…
“Excuse me, how do I get to a hospital quickly?”/“Just stand in the middle of the road for a while.”
A hospital joke is: Stranger: "Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"Me: "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while." That is, the person standing in the…
“If by ‘crunches’ you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes I do crunches”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
“If by “crunches” you mean the sound bacon makes when you eat it, then yes, I do crunches”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
“If by ‘crunches’ you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…