“I love doing crunches. If by ‘doing crunches’ you mean ‘eating chips’”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
Archive for 01/2020
“Noses are red, fingers are blue, I’m tired of winter. How about you?”
A winter version of the "Roses are red..." poem has been printed on many images: "Noses are red,Fingers are blue.I'm sick/tired of winter.How about you?" The first two…
“Noses are red, fingers are blue, I’m sick of winter. How about you?”
A winter version of the "Roses are red..." poem has been printed on many images: "Noses are red,Fingers are blue.I'm sick/tired of winter.How about you?" The first two…
“I am not going outside until the temperature is above my age”
"I'm not going outside until (the) temperature is above my age" is a winter saying that has been printed on many images. The older one gets, the hotter the temperature needed.…
“I’m not going outside until temperature is above my age”
"I'm not going outside until (the) temperature is above my age" is a winter saying that has been printed on many images. The older one gets, the hotter the temperature needed.…
“I’m not going outside until the temperature is above my age”
"I'm not going outside until (the) temperature is above my age" is a winter saying that has been printed on many images. The older one gets, the hotter the temperature needed.…
“Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job. Now he’s just a handyman”
A "handyman" usually has legs as well as hands, but this joke was posted on Twitter by PunTato on October 3, 2015: "Our maintenance guy lost his leg while he was on a job... now he`s…
“My idea of a super bowl is a large bowl of guacamole”
The Super Bowl is a football game, but many people think a super bowl is a bowl of food. "My idea of a "super bowl" is a bowl of GRUB.. preferably turkey. And lots of it!" was…
“I wish I could be the person I thought I could be when I bought all this produce”
Some people buy healthy foods, but then don't like to eat them. "I wish I could be the person I thought I could be when I bought all this produce" is a jocular food saying that has…
“Radio stations will interrupt the music to let you know the music is uninterrupted”
Many radio stations tell listeners about uninterrupted music, but interrupt the music to do so. "Yeah - don't you love the way radio stations keep interrupting the music to tell you how…
“That awful moment when you realize you left your to-go box on the table at the restaurant”
Forgetting about taking a "to-go" box home from a restaurant can be sad, but it's common. "#RetweetThis if you've ever eaten at a restaurant, asked for a to go box, and…
“Yes, break-ups suck, but have you ever left your to-go box on the table at a restaurant?”
Forgetting about taking a "to-go" box home from a restaurant can be sad, but it's common. "#RetweetThis if you've ever eaten at a restaurant, asked for a to go box, and…
“My friend is a qualified greengrocer. He has lettuce after his name”
People with many degrees have many letters after their names. This shouldn't be confused with "lettuce" after a name, but there are jokes. "Q: Why was the rabbit called Peter…
“My friend has just passed his master’s degree in salad studies. He now has lettuce after his name”
People with many degrees have many letters after their names. This shouldn't be confused with "lettuce" after a name, but there are jokes. "Q: Why was the rabbit called Peter…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some music and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Put your hair in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“What goes great with a Coronavirus?”/“Lime disease.”
Corona is a pale lager produced by Constellation Brands in Mexico for export to the United States. Corona is traditionally served with a wedge of lime or lemon in the neck of the bottle. In 2020,…
“What goes great with a Coronavirus?”/“Lyme disease.”
Corona is a pale lager produced by Constellation Brands in Mexico for export to the United States. Corona is traditionally served with a wedge of lime or lemon in the neck of the bottle. In 2020,…
“Put your hair up in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…