“Pun enters a room, kills 10 people. Pun in, 10 dead”
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pun version is: "A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot. Pun in, ten…
Archive for 08/2019
“A pun walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pun version is: "A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot. Pun in, ten…
“Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect because of the indoor fins”
"Endorphins" shouldn't be confused with "indoor fins," but there are jokes. "The reason tropical fish have such a calming effect is all to do with the indoor…
“When will people stop eating ground pork?”/“When pigs fly.”
"When pigs fly” is an old saying about an impossibility and a time that never comes. "Until pigs fly, all pork is ground pork" was posted on Twitter by Ejigantor on October 15,…
“Guns don’t kill people. Drivers on cell phones do”
“Guns don’t kill people—people kill people” is a popular saying from at least 1959. "Guns don't kill people. Drivers on/with cellphones do" is a variation on the saying that…
“Guns don’t kill people. Drivers with cell phones do”
“Guns don’t kill people—people kill people” is a popular saying from at least 1959. "Guns don't kill people. Drivers on/with cellphones do" is a variation on the saying that…
“Guns don’t kill people. Drivers with cellphones do”
“Guns don’t kill people—people kill people” is a popular saying from at least 1959. "Guns don't kill people. Drivers on/with cellphones do" is a variation on the saying that…
“Huge financial burden on board” (bumper sticker)
"Huge financial burden on board" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. The bumper sticker is a joke on the "Baby On Board" bumper stickers.…
“How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“Why does it have to be a group activity?”
A introvert version of the lightbulb joke is: Q: How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Why does it have to be a group activity? "'How many introverts does it take to…
“I’m on my way to work… PLEASE KILL ME”
"I'm on my way to work... PLEASE KILL ME" is a work saying that has been printed on many images. "494 bumper sticker sighting: 'Please Kill Me: I'm On My Way to…
“Obey gravity. It’s the law”
"Obey gravity. It's the law" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The law of gravity is a natural law and wasn't passed by any legislature. "Everyone…
“My son asked me what our IP address was. I pointed to the toilet”
An "IP address" is very different from an "I pee" address, but there are jokes. "What does a geek call their toilet? IP Address" was posted on Twitter by tobyh on July…
“Giant Meteor—Just end it already” (jocular presidential slogan)
"Giant Meteor -- Just end it already" is a jocular political slogan that has been printed on many images. "Giant Meteor 2016: Just end it already" was posted on Twitter by…
“Elect a clown, expect a circus”
"(If you) Elect a clown, expect a circus" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "Obama meets with George Clooney instead. If you elect a clown, expect a…
“What music do planets listen to?”/“Neptunes.”
A planetary music riddle was posted on Twitter by Holly on August 10, 2012: Q: What kind of music do planets sing?A: Neptunes! A similar riddle was posted on Twitter by Bobby Amasha on October 8,…
“I watched my first porno today… I looked so much younger back then”
"I watched my first porno today... I looked so much younger back then" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the person is not watching his/her first porn…
“Stay low, move fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, pure skill” (motto)
"Stay low, go/move fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, all/just/pure skill" is a military slogan that has been printed on many images. The saying -- which has several…
“I won my first cage fight last night. That parrot didn’t know what hit it”
"Cage fighting" doesn't involve bird cages, but there are jokes. "Won my first cage fight earlier today.... Fucking budgie never knew what hit it...." was posted on Twitter…
“Hit the gym” (to go to the gym to work out)
To "hit the gym" means to go to the gym (to work out) There are many other "hit" sayings; "hit the sack" and "hit the hay" both mean to go to bed, and…
“Home, Sweet Home”
"There's no place like home!" is one of the most famous of all American expressions. John Howard Payne (1791-1852) wrote these lyrics for "Home, Sweet Home" in the opera…