“There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk. Up”
"If there's one thing I can't stand when I'm drunk, it's up" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by IG: Mann_g on May 11, 2011. "Theres one thing I…
Archive for 07/2018
“They say you are what you eat. I bought ready to eat apricots…”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“Never cover a judge by his book”
"Don't judge a book by its cover" is an old proverb. "You can't cover a judge by his book" is a jocular variation that was used in a song by the Pheremones in 1992. A…
“Coconuts are mammals because they have hair and produce milk”
"Coconuts are mammals because they have hair and produce milk" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I just read a book in which an interesting point was made: coconuts…
“After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn’t want to eat…”
A joke about high gas prices was posted on Twitter on June 1, 2011: "After filling up my gas tank, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the rest of the week anyways." "After…
“Marching bands are actually homeless orchestras. Tragic, really”
A jocular definition of a marching band was posted on Twitter by Tim Siedell on November 12, 2009: "Marching bands are actually homeless orchestras. Tragic, really." Marching Bands Are…
“Waiter, there’s a fly in my wine!”/“Well, you did ask for something with a little body in it!”
A wine variation on the “Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!” joke is: Diner: Waiter, there is a fly in my wine!Waiter: Well, you did ask for something with a little body in it! The joke was…
“What did the tired artist say?”/“I’m all drawn out.”
An artist riddle is: Q: What did the tired artist say?A: "I'm all drawn out." "What did the tired artist say? I'm drawn out" was posted on Twitter by "dad…
“They say you are what you eat. Today I bought some ready to eat chicken…”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“Mayonnaise is bread lotion”
Is mayonnaise like lotion? "Mayo is bread lotion" was posted on Twitter by Greg Schindler on July 6, 2012. "Mayonnaise is just bread lotion" was posted on Twitter by This Is…
“What do you call an alligator with a GPS?”/“A navigator.”
An alligator riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call an alligator with a GPS?A: A navigator. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 11, 2012. “What do you call an alligator…
“A bunch of my friends are coming over this evening to play on their phones”
"A bunch of my friends are coming over this evening to play on their phones" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on July 20,…
“I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns. I would never armadillo”
An "armadillo" is sometimes called a "dillo," for short. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on July 12, 2018: "I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns. I…
“What do you call an alligator with a map?”/“A navigator.”
An alligator riddle is: Q: What do you call an alligator with a map?A: A navigator. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Funny on September 19, 2011. "@thoselamejokes What do you call an alligator…
“What do you call freshly made pasta?”/“Newdles.”
"Newdles" is a jocular spelling of "noodles." "Invent a new shape of pasta. Call it Newdles" was posted on Twitter on September 2014. A riddle form was posted on…
“What do you call a drunk wall?”/“Plastered.”
"Did you hear about the drunk wall? It was plastered" was posted on Twitter by Matthew Tse on March 20, 2015. "What did the drunk wall say to his buddy? I'm plastered" was…
“Two whales walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A whale version has been printed on many images: "Two whales walk into a bar. The…
“What do you call a drunk wall?”/“Plastered.”
"Did you hear about the drunk wall? It was plastered" was posted on Twitter by Matthew Tse on March 20, 2015. "What did the drunk wall say to his buddy? I'm plastered" was…
“Lawsuits are just rap battles for white people”
A lawsuit has been compared to a rap battle. "Black people make fun of each other and it's called a rap battle, white people make fun of each other and it's called a lawsuit"…
Moscow Mule (cocktail)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Moscow muleMoscow mule is a cocktail made with vodka, spicy ginger beer, and lime juice, garnished with a slice or wedge of lime. It is a type of buck and…