“Don’t guess—soil test” (farming adage)
"Don't guess -- soil test" is a slogan that has been used in farming, and also for home lawns and gardens. Soil should be tested to see what fertilizer is required. "Don't…
Archive for 09/2016
“What happens when two pastries divorce?”/“They have a custardy battle.”
"Custody" sounds like "custardy," resulting in several puns. A typical joke was posted on the newsgroup bigweek.general on December 12, 2001: "Husband and wife have…
Terror Vandalism
A bomb exploded in a trash can at West 23rd Street, in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood, on September 17, 2016. The Fox News Channel's Geraldo Rivera called it "terror…
“What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?”/“A salad shooter.”
A popular vegetarian joke is: Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?A: A salad shooter. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. The joke has been printed on sevveral GIFs.…
“I quit smoking cold turkey” (joke)
"Cold turkey" is defined as a sudden stop to a dependency (such as smoking or drugs). A pun on the "cold turkey" term appeared in New York magazine on November 20, 1978: "I…
“Where do you find stewed tomatoes?”/“Try the salad bar.”
People get "stewed" (drunk) at a bar. There's a pun: Shopper: I'm looking for stewed tomatoes. Clerk: Try the salad bar. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008.…
Niggeratti Manor (267 West 136th Street)
"Niggerati" or "niggeratti" (nigger + literati) is a term of the Harlem Renaissance to describe Harlem's writers, artists and musicians. The term was popularized by…
“Breakfast in London, lunch in New York, baggage in Buenos Aires” (airline joke)
The age of air travel making possible "breakfast in London and lunch in New York" was thought of as early as 1919. "You can have breakfast in London, lunch in New York and…
“If you can read the New York Times without moving your lips, you’re a communist”
"There is a contemporary US joke that a liberal is somebody who can read the New York Times without moving their lips" appears to have been cited in print in 1995 (if the Google Books…
“What did one worm say to another?”/“I know a restaurant where we can eat dirt cheap.”
To eat "dirt cheap" is to eat very cheaply. There's a joke: Q: Do you want to eat dirt cheap?A: I don't like dirt. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1926. Worms…
Niggerati or Niggeratti (nigger + literati)
"Niggerati" or "niggeratti" (nigger + literati) is a term of the Harlem Renaissance to describe Harlem's writers, artists and musicians. The term was popularized by…
Aristocrat of the Village (Barney Gallant’s nickname)
Bernard "Barney" Gallant (1884-1968) operated several speakeasies in Greenwich Village. "Barney Gallant's" was located at 85 West 3rd Street. From 1929 through 1931, the…
“Do cannibals refer to homeless people as free range?”
"Do cannibals refer to homeless people as free range?" is a jocular question that is usually asked with other cannibal jokes. "Do Cannibals refer to homeless people as Free Range?…
Waldorf of Harlem (Hotel Theresa, now Theresa Towers)
The Hotel Theresa opened in 1913 at Seventh Avenue, between 124th and 125th Streets. The Harlem hotel ended its racial segregation policy in 1940. The Theresa quickly became the most important…
“What’s the difference between a bartender and a mixologist?” (joke)
"What's the difference between a bartender and a mixologist?" is both a serious and a non-serious question. The serious answers vary. Some people claim that there is no difference,…
Whoopee Row (West 133rd Street)
"Whoopee Row" was West 133rd Street in Harlem, between Lenox Avenue and Seventh Avenue. Many night clubs, speakeasies and fried chicken restaurants were located there. "'Whoopee…
Aristocrat of Harlem (Cotton Club nickname)
The Cotton Club (located in Harlem at 142nd Street and Lenox Avenue from 1923 to 1935, then midtown at Broadway and 48th Street from 1936 to 1940) was called the "Aristocrat of Harlem."…
Harlem’s Beale Street (West 133rd Street)
"Harlem's Beale Street" was West 133rd Street in Harlem, between Lenox Avenue and Seventh Avenue. Many night clubs, speakeasies and fried chicken restaurants were located there.…
“If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping?”
"If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping?" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "If abortion is murder then condoms are weapons of mass…
“Roses are red. Pizza sauce is, too. I ordered a large, and none of it’s for you”
A popular pizza poem has been written on many images: "Roses are red.Pizza sauce is, too.I ordered a largeAnd none of it's for you." "Roses are red, and pizza sauce is too/ I…