“Why did you come home half drunk?”/“I ran out of money.”
"Honey, sorry I came home half drunk. I ran out of money!" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. This husband-and-wife exchange was printed in many newspapers…
Alphebetical for "w"
“Why didn’t 4 enter the haunted house?”/“Because it was 2 squared.”
A haunted house riddle is: Q: Why didn't 4 enter the haunted house?A: Because it was 2 squared. "2 squared" sounds like "too scared." The pun was posted on Twitter on July…
“Why didn’t anyone respect the mushroom farmer?”/“He had no morels.”
"Morels" (a genus of edible sac fungi) sounds like "morals," and there have been several puns. "I knew an unscrupulous mushroom farmer....he had no morels" was posted…
“Why didn’t people want to go to the German restaurant?”/“It was always too krauted.”
There have been several German restaurant puns on the word "kraut," usually with "krauted" meant to sound like "crowded." "I can't get a seat in this German…
“Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?”/“Because he went down in History.”
A riddle about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is: Q: Why didn't Rudolph get a good report card?A: Because he went down in History. The joke is based on the last lyrics to the "Rudolph the…
“Why didn’t the acrobat work in the winter?”/“He wanted to do summer-saults.”
"Somersaults" can be performed at any season, but there's a riddle: Q; Why didn't the acrobat work in the winter?A: He wanted to do summer-saults. "Q. Why don't…
“Why didn’t the atheist cross the road?”/“There’s no such thing as the other side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An atheist version is: Q: Why didn't the atheist cross the…
“Why didn’t the chick cross the road?”/“Because it was a little chicken.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Several versions involve baby chicks. "why did n't the…
“Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?”/“Because he saw what happened to the zebra.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A chicken/donkey version is: Q: Why didn't the chicken/donkey a…
“Why didn’t the dog want to play football?”/“It was a boxer.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Why didn't the dog want to play football?A: It was a boxer. The "boxer" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Boxer (dog)The Boxer is a…
“Why didn’t the donkey cross the road?”/“Because he saw what happened to the zebra.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A chicken/donkey version is: Q: Why didn't the chicken/donkey a…
“Why didn’t the Easter egg cross the road?”/“Because he wasn’t a chicken yet!”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An (Easter) egg version is: Q: Why didn't the (Easter) egg cross…
“Why didn’t the libertarian cross the road?”/“He thought it was a private road.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A libertarian version is: Q: Why did the libertarian cross the road?…
“Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?”/“Because he was too far out, man.”
A hippie riddle is: Q: Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?A: Because he was too far out, man. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2002 and has been printed on many…
“Why didn’t the Mexican archer fire his bow?”/“He didn’t habanero.”
"Habanero" sounds a little like "have an arrow." A riddle is: Q: Why didn't the Mexican archer fire his bow?A: He didn't habanero. "Why couldn't the Mexican…
“Why didn’t the piglets listen to the teacher pig?”/“Because he was an old boar.”
Are teachers boring? One pun is: Q: Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig?A: Because he was an old boar. "Why wouldn't the piglets listen to their father? Because he was…
“Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very difficult?”/“Because X was always 10.”
An algebra riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?A: Because X was always 10. "The Romans didn't find algebra very challenging,…
“Why didn’t the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?”/“Because it’s seasonal work!”
A food joke involves the terms "seasoning" (salt and pepper, in the joke) and "seasonal work." "Why didn't the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?...…
“Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?”/“He had no body to dance with!”
Skeletons have "no body" (nobody), and a July 1953 newspaper riddle went: Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?A. Because he had nobody to go with. A November 1953 newspaper…
“Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?”/“He didn’t have the stomach for it.”
A skeleton riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on September 29, 2000: Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it! A similar…