“Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?” (joke)
A corny old golf joke goes: Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1946. 21 June 1946, Bowie (TX) News,…
Alphebetical for "w"
“Why did the gum cross the road?”/“Because it was under the chicken’s foot.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A gum version is: Q: Why did the gum cross the road?A: Because it was…
“Why did the guy name his dog 5 Miles?”/“So every day he can say, ‘I just walked 5 Miles.’”
Entry in progress -- B.P. "The doctor told me that I need to lose some weight, so I bought a dog, named him ‘Some Weight,’ and lost him" is a similar joke. Twitter Jamie…
“Why did the headless horseman go into business?”/“He wanted to get a head in life.”
A popular riddle about the headless horseman is: Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?A: He wanted to get ahead (a head) in life. The joke was posted to the newsgroup…
“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flat mate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flatmate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
“Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?”/“He was cold, so he turned the fan off.”
A helicopter riddle is: Q: Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?A: He was cold, so he turned the fan off. A Polish joke version is: Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter…
“Why did the hermit crab cross the road?”/“To get to the Shell station.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A crab version has several answers. "why did the crab cross the…
“Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?”/“Because he’s an idiot.”
“How did the hipster burn his tongue?/"He drank his coffee before it was cool" is a popular riddle. There are anti-joke variations. "Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because…
“Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?”/“The anesthesia wasn’t local.”
People are often encouraged to eat locally sourced food and to shop local. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2017: Q: Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?A: The anesthesia…
“Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?”/“Because he was bored of the rings.”
A The Lord of the Rings riddle was posted on the Sickipedia website on December 1, 2012: Q: Why did the hobbit turn his phone on silent?A: He was Bored of the Rings. "Why did the Hobbit put…
“Why did the homophone cross the rowed?”/“To get to the other sighed.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. "To get to the other sighed" is a jocular punchline.…
“Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread?”/“It was a crusty steed.”
A trusty steed shouldn't be confused with a "crusty" steed. A riddle is: Q: Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? A: It was a crusty steed! A form of the joke…
“Why did the hot dogs need more room?”/“They were over-krauted.”
"Sauerkraut" gave the word "kraut" (for "German"). "Overkrauted" -- like "overcrowded" -- can mean too many Germans or too much sauerkraut.…
“Why did the hotel hire a skeleton on Halloween?”/“He had a skeleton key.”
A skeleton key is a master key that opens many doors. "Now I know how ghosts get into haunted houses. They use skeleton keys!" was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on November 28,…
“Why did the illusionist cross the road?”/“He didn’t.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An illusionist version is: Q: Why did the illusionist cross the…
“Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?”/“He couldn’t see himself doing it.”
A riddle about the invisible man is: Q: Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?A: He couldn't see himself doing it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2010. Wikipedia:…
“Why did the jalapeño put on a sweater?”/“Because he was a little chili.”
A jalapeño pepper joke is: Q: Why did the jalapeño put on a sweater?A: Because he was a little chili. "Why did the jalapeño always wear a sweater? Because he was a chilly pepper" was…
“Why did the Jedi cross the road?”/“To get to the Dark Side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A Star Wars version is: Q: Why did the Jedi cross the road?A: To get…
“Why did the jellybean go to school?”/“He wanted to be a Smartie.”
A popular riddle about Smarties candy has been cited in print since at least 1997: Q: Why did the jellybean go to school?A: He wanted to be a Smartie. An M&M version has been cited in print…