“Why did the bacterium fail its math class?”/“Because it multiplies when it divides.”
"Bacteria defies the laws of Mathematics. It 'multiplies' when it 'divides' #OMGFacts" was posted on Twitter by Saimah on April 13, 2010. "Bacteria multiply when…
Alphebetical for "w"
“Why did the bagel go to the bar?”/“To get toasted.”
A bagel riddle is: Q: Why did the bagel go to the bar?A: To get toasted. The pun is that "toasted" can also mean "drunk." The riddle was posted on Twitter by Jersey Bagels on…
“Why did the balloon burst?”/“Because it saw a lolly pop.”
A lollipop riddle is: Q: Why did the balloon burst?A: Because it saw the lollipop. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. 15 April 1984, The Sun-Herald (Sydney, Australia), pg. 84…
“Why did the banana go out with the prune?”/“Because he couldn’t find a date.”
A riddle about prunes and dates is: Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?A: Because he couldn't find a date. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1995. Other foods besides…
“Why did the banana go to the doctor?”/“It wasn’t peeling well.”
A banana pun is: Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?A: It wasn't peeling well. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Google BooksSuper Sick Jokes and RiddlesBy Joseph…
“Why did the bank robber take a bath?”/“So he could make a clean getaway.”
A robbery riddle is: Q: Why did the bank robber take a bath?A: So he could make a clean getaway. "A Boston robber who shaved and dressed up to loot a residence must have wanted to make a clean…
“Why did the bigamist cross the road?”/“To get to the other bride.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A bigamist/polygamist version is: Q: Why did the bigamist/polygamist…
“Why did the biology students almost fail?”/“They were bio-D-grade-able.”
A biology class pun is: Q: Why did the biology students almost fail?A: They were bio-D-grade-able. "You're not biodegradable, but you are bio-D-grade-able!" was cited on Twitter on…
“Why did the bird chirp at the trick-or-treaters?”/“Because he thought they wanted tweets!”
"Tweets" is how Elmer Fudd (the cartoon archenemy of Bugs Bunny, whom he calls a "wabbit") might pronounce the word "treats." There are several "trick or…
“Why did the birdwatcher cross the road?”/“To get to the other hide.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Popular variants include "other hide" or "otter's…
“Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?” (joke)
Drinks that are "on the house" are free, and there's a classic joke: Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? A: She heard that the drinks were on the house. The joke…
“Why did the blonde snort Sweet’N Low?”/“She thought it was Diet Coke.”
Coke is a soft drink that doesn't have cocaine, but there's a popular riddle: Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet/Splenda/Sweet'N Low?A: She thought it was Diet Coke. The Diet…
“Why did the bowl of soup disappear?”/“It was leek soup.”
"Leek soup" has been the subject of several "leak soup" puns. "Q: What did you do all night? A: Leak soup" was posted on the newsgroup uk.singles on December 3, 1997.…
“Why did the bowling pins stop working?”/“Because they went on strike.”
A bowling riddle has been cited in print since at least 1984: Q: Why did the bowling pins lie down? A: Because they were on strike. A slightly different version was printed in 1997: Q: Why did the…
“Why did the boy eat his cash?”/“Because it was his dinner money.”
"Dinner money" is money to buy dinner. The money itself is not dinner, but a popular riddle is: Q: Why did the boy eat his cash?A: Because it was his dinner money. The joke has been cited…
“Why did the boy eat his cash?”/“Because it was his dinner money.”
"Dinner money" is money to buy dinner. The money itself is not dinner, but a popular riddle is: Q: Why did the boy eat his cash?A: Because it was his dinner money. The joke has been cited…
“Why did the boy eat his homework?”/“Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.”
Something that is a "piece of cake" is something that is easy or simple. There's a school joke: Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of…
“Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?”/“Because he wanted sweet dreams.”
A riddle about "sweet dreams" is: Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?A: Because he wanted sweet dreams. "Why did the moron bring the sugar to be with him? Because he…
“Why did the boy smear peanut butter on the road?”/“To go with the traffic jam.”
A "traffic jam" isn't made of jam, but there's a riddle: Q: Why did the boy smear peanut butter on the road?A: To go with the traffic jam. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Why did the boy throw butter out the window?”/“To see the butter fly.”
"Butterfly" and "butter fly" lead to the obvious joke: Q: Why did the boy throw butter out the window?A: He wanted to see the butter fly. The joke has been cited in print since…