"When life hands you lemons, kill them, crush them, drink their souls" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a variant on the popular saying, “If life…
"If/When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying. "If/When life gives you melons, you may/might be dyslexic" is a jocular variant that has been printed on many…
"When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "When life knocks you down roll over and look at the…
"When life shuts a door, open it again. That's how doors work" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Captain Obvious…
"When life gives you tacos, eat them" and "When life gives you broken tacos, make nachos (taco salad)" are sayings that have been printed on several images. The sayings are…
A colander joke is: "When making macaroni and cheese I didn't use the colander long enough, and wife gave me a restraining order." The one-line saying was posted on Twitter on…
"When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns" is a popular anti-gun control saying that has been cited in print since at least 1967. The jocular anti-proverb "When marriage…
"When measuring the circumference of a pie, using one pie is not enough. But 2πr" ("two pie are") is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 7, 2022. The…
For many immigrants to the United States (and especially to New York, through the Ellis Island immigration station), American was thought to be the "Golden Land" of opportunity, where the…
Slicing onions makes people cry. Nitrous oxide (laughing gas) makes people laugh. "I've been breathing nitrous oxide while chopping onions. I don't know whether to laugh or cry"…
"When my money low, I don't feel good. I think I'm a dollarbetic" (usually shown spoken by Baby Yoda) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Dollarbetic"…
"When my ship comes in" is an idiom meaning "when my fortune arrives." People who have bad luck (and who doubt that their ship ever will come in) have added an extra ending to…
Emmental is a yellow, medium-hard cheese that originated in Emmen, Switzerland. It's sometimes joked that one is being "sent Emmental" (sentimental). "pretty gutted i never get…
A joke about buying cucumbers suggests that it's better to identify one's sexual practice than to possibly imply that one is a vegan. "When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket…
It has been pointed out, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic and at other times, that some people have used isolation to great advantage. "Happy birthday to Isaac Newton, who, at the age…
"Imagine the audience naked" is a saying about performing or giving a speech. Is the opposite true? "If you ever have to give a speech to a group of nudists and you think you’ll…
"When one door shuts, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. Several joke versions involve a refrigerator door. "When one door closes, another one opens. With a teenager…
"When one door closes, another opens" is an old saying about an opportunity lost and one gained. A joke about ending a bad experience was posted on Twitter by CherrySlushie on December…
"When one door shuts, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. However, it is also possible that when one door closes, there is no other opportunity -- in fact, there could be…
Gerald Celente, founder of theTrends Research Institute and a frequent guest on news programs, said frequently since at least 2008: "When people have nothing left to lose, and they've…