“What do you think of my Irish stew?”/“It could use a pinch of Gaelic.”
"Garlic" looks a bit like "Gaelic." An Irish stew pun is: Cook l: What do you think of my Irish stew?Cook 2: It could use a pinch of Gaelic. The joke has been cited in print…
Alphebetical for "w"
“What do you think of the musician’s execution?”/“I’m in favor of it.”
A popular joke appeared in 1894 and was reprinted in many newspapers: "What did you think of my daughter's execution, Professor?" asked the fond mamma, as her fair daughter pounded…
“What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners” (lawyer joke)
The drowning lawyer (or lawyers) joke has been one of the most popular of lawyer jokes. THe following joke has been cited in print since at least 1994: Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?A:…
“What do you use to buy bar drinks?”/“Bar tender.”
A bar riddle is: Q: What do you use to buy drinks?A: Bar tender The joke was posted on Reddit on July 11, 2016. redditWhat do you use to buy drinks?submitted July 11, 2016 by signalranchBar tender…
“What do you use to clean a pig?”/“Ham sanitizer.”
A pig riddle is: Q: What do you use to clean a pig?A: Ham sanitizer. "Ham sanitizer" sounds a bit like "hand sanitizer." "How do you clean a pig? Ham sanitizer" was…
“What do you use to fix a broken tuba?”/“A tuba glue.”
"Tuba" sounds like "tube of." A riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1994: Q: What do you use to fix a broken tuba?A: A tuba glue! The riddle is often worded as this: Q: How…
“What do you wear to a Thanksgiving dinner?”/“A har-vest.”
A Thanksgiving dinner riddle is: Q: What do you wear to a Thanksgiving dinner?A: A har-vest. "What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A Har-VEST" was cited on a 2006 website. "What…
“What do zombies eat while on a hike?”/“Entrail Mix.”
"Trail mix" shouldn't be confused with "entrail mix," but there are jokes. "What's the Devil Fish's favorite mid-afternoon snack? ENTRAIL MIX!" was…
“What does a baby ghost need at a restaurant?”/“A boo-ster seat.”
Several ghost puns (popular at Halloween) involve a "booster" ("boo-ster"). "Q: What kind of seat does a baby ghost sit in? A: A booster seat" was printed in the…
“What does a blind man use to ski?”/“A skiing eye dog.”
"If blind people have seeing eye dogs, do blind skiers have skiing eye dogs?" is a question that was posted on Twitter on July 18, 2014. ""In blind school they didn't say…
“What does a Broadway actor do when he has the flu?”/“Eight shows a week.”
Broadway actors (and many in regional theatre) are expected to perform eight shows a week. Stars are pushed to perform even when not fully healthy. American film actor Tom Hanks helped out at the…
“What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?”/“Meals on wheels.”
A cannibal riddle is: Q: What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?A: Meals on wheels. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Wikipedia: Meals on WheelsMeals on Wheels is a programme…
“What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?”/“Meals on wheels.”
A cannibal riddle is: Q: What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?A: Meals on wheels. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Wikipedia: Meals on WheelsMeals on Wheels is a programme…
“What does a cannibal call a stoner?”/“Pot roast.”
"Pot roast" doesn't contain any marijuana ("pot"), but a popular cannibal joke is: Q: What does a cannibal call a stoner?A: Pot roast. The joke was posted on Reddit on July…
“What does a cannibal drink in the morning?”/“A cup of Joe.”
"Cup of joe" is a slang term for a cup of coffee. "Joe" possibly stands for "java." A cannibal riddle is: Q: What does a cannibal drink in the morning?A: A cup of Joe.…
“What does a cannibalistic cow eat?”/“Can o bull.”
"Cannibal" sounds like "can o' bull." "Can O' Bull Chief" was a short movie feature in 1928. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on January 21, 2018:…
“What does a car put on its toast?”/“Traffic jam.”
A car riddle was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on May 9, 2006: Q: What does a car put on its toast? A: Traffic jam. "What do cars put on their toast? Traffic jam #BestJokeEver"…
“What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?”/“A pan, duh!”
The word "panda" sounds like "pan, duh." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Nickiey on June 10, 2009. Q: What does a panda cook with? A: A PAN duh!! A slightly different version…
“What does a Chinese cowboy say?”/“Ni-haody.”
An American cowboy might say things like "Howdy!" and "Yeehaw!" What would a Chinese cowboy say? "Ni hao" is Chinese for "hello." "What does a Chinese…
“What does a clock do when it’s hungry?”/“It goes back four seconds.”
"If a clock has already eaten but is still hungry, does it go back four seconds?" -- a pun on "go back for seconds" -- is a joke that appears to have been cited in print since…