“The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip”
"The horse I bet on was so slow," an old joke goes, "that the jockey kept a diary of the trip." The joke was credited to Jewish-American singer and actor Al Jolson (1886-1950)…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The hospital you were born in is the only building you leave without entering”
"Also, night thought: the hospital you were born in is the only building you’ll leave but not have entered" is a saying that was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2017. "The hospital…
“The hot air hurts my face”
"The air hurts my face. Why am I living where the air hurts my face?" -- usually meaning that the winter air is very cold, possibly causing frostbite -- is a saying that has been printed…
“The hotel towels were so thick, I could hardly close my suitcase”
Many people steal hotel towels. A joke was told in the column "The Hotel Guest" by Jack Geyer, in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on November 19, 1956: "In New York I wound up at one of…
“The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who…maintain their neutrality”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Inferno (Dante)Inferno (Italian for "Hell") is the first part of Dante's Divine Comedy. The poem was written in the early 14th century. It is an…
“The hour we lose this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym”
"The hour we lose/lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym" is a jocular saying about Daylight Saving TIme that has been printed on many images. "The hour…
“The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym”
"The hour we lose/lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym" is a jocular saying about Daylight Saving TIme that has been printed on many images. "The hour…
“The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless”
"The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless" (or "The hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose") is a saying that has been printed on many images. These…
“The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless”
"The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless" (or "The hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose") is a saying that has been printed on many images. These…
“The House has affairs; the Senate has relations”
The House of Representatives is sometimes called the people's house (because of direct elections), but the Senate (the subject of direct elections only since a 20th century amendment) has long…
“The house isn’t under construction—kids just live here”
"The house isn't under construction -- kids just live here" is a popular house sign. "The house isn't under construction...kids just live here" has been cited in print…
“The House That Ruth Built” (Yankee Stadium)
George Herman ("Babe") Ruth (1895-1948) played for the New York Yankees from 1920-1934. Some consider him the greatest baseball player ever. Yankee Stadium opened in 1923. "The House…
“The House That Tex Built” (Boyle’s Thirty Acres)
The boxing "Battle of the Century" between Jack Dempsey and Georges Carpentier couldn't be held in New York State, so promoter Tex Rickard (1870-1929) built a huge octagonal bowl at…
“The House That Tex Built” (Madison Square Garden, 1925-1968)
Entry in progress -- B.P. "The House That Jack Built" is a traditional nursery rhyme. Boyle's Thirty Acres (1921 to 1927) in Jersey City, New Jersey, was a boxing arena that was also…
“The Houston Astros/Texas Rangers have won the World Series!” (Texas weather joke)
The heat of Texas -- and the lack of World Series success of the Houston Astro sand the Texas Rangers --have resulted in a "Texan in Hell" joke. The joke has been told about other sports…
“The human back is a travesty. Do you have a job where you’re on your feet a lot? Your back hurts now…”
People seem to have back problems, regardless if they have a physical job or a desk job. This was posted on X/Twitter by waluigi simulator (the account is now private) on July 6, 2018, and received…
“The human body is 80% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety”
"The human body is 70%/80%/90% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Människan består av 70% vatten. Vi…
“The human body is roughly 60% water. I’m not fat, I’m flooded”
"The human body is roughly 60% water. I'm not fat, I'm flooded" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "apparently we are 90% water, so I'm not…
“The human brain is a very sophisticated organ. It works day and night, until you turn on the news”
"HUMAN BRAIN IS A VERY SOPHISTICATED ORGAN. IT WORKS DAY AND NIGHT FROM THE MOMENT YOU ARE BORN UNTIL ... YOU TURN ON THE NEWS" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Itz J Sam on…
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television”
"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "The human race is faced with a cruel choice:…