“The Grinch never hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair”
"Just so we're clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. How the Grinch Stole…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well. he called it a receipt…whatever”
"I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well he called it a receipt...whatever" is a jocular drinking saying that has been…
“The guy who discovered gluten intolerance has died. The family has requested no flours at the funeral”
"Flour" for "flower" is a popular pun, and this appears in a gluten intolerance joke. "Sad to hear the discoverer of wheat intolerance has died. The family has requested no…
“The guy who discovered milk… What was he doing with that cow?”
Many people wonder about the first person who discovered milk from a cow. "#randomthought....to the guy who invented milk...WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING WITH THAT COW! O_o" was posted on…
“The guy who fell off the ferris wheel is at the hospital. He’s in fair condition”
The word "fair" can be an adjective ("reasonable" or "adequate") and a noun (such as a county fair). "Confession: Whenever I read 'at the hospital in fair…
“The guy who invented hand sanitizer must be rubbing his hands together right now”
Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) increased the sale of hand sanitizer. "The guy/person who invented hand sanitizer must be rubbing his/their hands together now" -- that is, rubbing…
“The guy who robbed a health spa jumped on a scale and got a weigh”
"Got away" shouldn't be confused with "got a weigh," but there are jokes. "Bill jumped on a scale and got a weigh" was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Daily Times…
“The guy who said that the truth never hurts never had to fill out a form 1040”
"The guy who said that the truth never hurts never had to fill out a form 1040" is a popular tax-day joke. "The guy who said that the truth never hurts never had to make out a 1040…
“The guy who stole all the chocolate is now a fudgitive”
"Fudgitive" (fudge + fugitive) is a portmanteau that has been used in some jokes. "The Fudgitive #oneletteroffmovies" was posted on Twitter by Terry Bull on October 24, 2009.…
“The guy who wrote the program that estimates time left on a download wasn’t serious”
Many computer users get impatient waiting for downloads. A joke was posted on Twitter by Verifried Drunk on July 24, 2011: "The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left…
“The guy with the worst grades should get to give a graduation speech too. Let me hear both sides”
The student with the best grades often gets to give a graduation speech. Another idea was posted on Twitter by Sam Saulsbury on September 10, 2022: "The guy with the worst grades should get to…
“The gym accused me of stealing, but the sign clearly said ‘free weights’”
"Free weights" is a term in weight training that includes dumbbells, barbells, medicine balls, sandbells and kettlebells. It doesn't mean that these weights are "free," but…
“The gym is the only place where the customers work harder than the employees”
Gym customers pay to work out. "The gym; the one place where the customers work harder than the employees" was posted on Twitter by BradAndBoojie on January 19, 2015. "The gym’s…
“The halfway point of a marathon is 20 miles” (running adage)
A marathon is 26.2 miles; a half-marathon is 13.1 miles. However, marathoners often experience "the wall" of endurance at the 20-mile mark. "There is a saying among marathoners:…
“The Happiness I Never Knew” (“think” backronym)
"The Happiness I Never Knew" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word "think." This was given under "Alconym" (Alcoholics Anonymous + acronym) on the newsgroup…
“The hard truth that Communists don’t want to face is that…they will still have to look up how to spell ‘bourgeoisie’ every time”
"Bourgeoisie" can be a difficult word to spell. This was posted on X/Twitter by "Jason, ex inferis" on July 23, 2024, and received over 86,000 likes: "The spelling of…
“The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it”
"The harder you work for something, the greater you'll feel when you achieve it" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "The harder you work for…
“The hardest animal to kill is a school mascot”
"The hardest/toughest animal to kill is a school mascot" is a popular saying with school administrators, especially when there is talk about closing a school. "The hardest animal to…
“The hardest lift of all is lifting your butt off the couch”
"The hardest lift of all is lifting your butt off the couch" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Sometimes the hardest part of working out is getting your…
“The hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the almonds”
"The hardest part about being vegan is having to wake up at 5am to milk all the almonds" is a jocular line about almond milk that was posted on Twitter on May 24, 2013. "The hardest…