“My swear jar could finance the fucking space program”
Many people put money in a swear jar after they swear. "My swear jar could finance the fucking space program" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My swear jar…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only assume it’s there to protect myself against anyone who tries to steal my tacos”
"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab (potential) taco thieves" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Tacos are usually eaten with…
“My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves”
"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab (potential) taco thieves" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Tacos are usually eaten with…
“My teacher doesn’t know anything. All she does is ask questions”
Teachers ask a lot of questions, prompting a student's comic lament: "My teacher doesn't know anything. All she does is ask questions!" The comic strip Gasoline Alley, by Frank…
“My teacher threw sodium chloride at me. That’s a salt”
"A salt" sounds like "assault," and there are sodium chloride jokes that have been printed on many images. "Some one just threw a bag of sodium Chloride at me! That's…
“My teacher told me guns kill people. I told her my pencil failed my A levels”
"My teacher told me guns kill people... I told her my pencil failed my math exam" is a saying that has been printed on a popular image. It's not known who created the image. The…
“My teacher told me guns kill people. I told her my pencil failed my math exam”
"My teacher told me guns kill people... I told her my pencil failed my math exam" is a saying that has been printed on a popular image. It's not known who created the image. The…
“My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect”
"My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My therapist told me ‘time heals all wounds.’ So I stabbed him. Now we wait…”
"Time heals all wounds" is an old saying that might or might not be true. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Princess Buttercup on May 23, 2014, and it received over 7,500 likes:…
“My thighs are so sexy, they can’t stop touching each other”
"My thighs are so sexy, they can't stop touching each other" -- that is, one is pleasingly plump -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My thighs are so…
“My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone trying on summer clothes”
Many people gain weight in the winter. "My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone trying on summer clothes. http://some.ly/H10Dlu5" was posted on Twitter by Jay Maligaya on May 19, 2015,…
“My time machine is the best thing till sliced bread”
"The best/greatest thing since sliced bread" is a popular phrase. “What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?” is a question that's sometimes asked, and there is a time…
“My time machine is the best thing untill sliced bread”
"The best/greatest thing since sliced bread" is a popular phrase. “What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?” is a question that's sometimes asked, and there is a time…
“My tin foil hat won’t give me myocarditis”
Many COVID-19 pandemic "conspiracy theorists" (sometimes known as the "tin foil hat" crowd) warned about taking the COVID-19 vaccines. The vaccines were known to cause many side…
“My tolerance for alcohol is higher than my tolerance for people”
"My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been said with many slight variations. "high…
“My tolerance for alcohol is much higher than my tolerance for people”
"My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been said with many slight variations. "high…
“My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people”
"My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been said with many slight variations. "high…
“My toxic trait is once that sun starts shining I wanna quit my job”
"My toxic trait is once that/the sun starts shining I wanna quit my job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is once that sun starts shining I wanna…
“My toxic trait is once the sun starts shining I wanna quit my job”
"My toxic trait is once that/the sun starts shining I wanna quit my job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is once that sun starts shining I wanna…
“My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee will help my problems”
"My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee will help my problems" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is thinking another cup of coffee…