“My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook”
"My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook" is a jocular one-line saying that has been very popular on Twitter. The line has been cited on Twitter since June 4, 2012. TwitterJack…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My sex life is like a video game. Single Player”
How do video gamers describe their sex lives? "Sex is like video game, wait, hear me out. Having sex is multi player and masturbating is single player..." was posted on Twitter on April…
“My sex life is like Coca-Cola. First it was classic, then it was light, and now it’s zero”
"My sex life is like Coca-Cola. First it was normal, then light and now zero" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My sex life is like Coca Cola was first normal, then…
“My sex life is like Coca-Cola. First it was classic, then went on a diet, and now it’s zero”
"My sex life is like Coca-Cola. First it was normal, then light and now zero" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My sex life is like Coca Cola was first normal, then…
“My sex life is like Coca-Cola. First it was normal, then light and now zero”
"My sex life is like Coca-Cola. First it was normal, then light and now zero" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My sex life is like Coca Cola was first normal, then…
“My sex life is like COVID-19. I don’t have COVID-19”
"My sex life is like COVID-19, I don't have COVID-19" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 3, 2020. That is, the speaker has no sex life. "My sex life is like COVID-19, I…
“My signature move is writing ‘please see attached’ and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached”
Many people write "please see attached" in an email -- and then forget to attach anything. This was posted on X/Twitter and Bluesky by sixfootcandy on August 20, 2025: "My signature…
“My son asked me what our IP address was. I pointed to the toilet”
An "IP address" is very different from an "I pee" address, but there are jokes. "What does a geek call their toilet? IP Address" was posted on Twitter by tobyh on July…
“My son goes to a private school. He won’t tell me where it is!”
New York-based stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a joke about private school: "My kid drives me nuts. For three years now he goes to a private school. He won't tell me…
“My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase”
A moon joke was posted on Twitter on September 15, 2016: "I sexually identify as a moon. My mom thinks it's just a phase." A slightly different version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes…
“My son ordered a ‘well done’ steak because he thought it meant they would do a better job”
Having a steak "well done" shouldn't imply that other cooking temperatures are "poorly done," but there are jokes. "my son ordering a 'well done' steak bc he…
“My son said he was smart so I asked him to spell it…” (joke)
This smart joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 7, 2022: "My son said he was smart so I asked him to spell it.'S-M-A-R-T' he said.I’ve never been more…
“My spirit animal is either Grey Goose or Wild Turkey”
"My spirit animal is Grey Goose" (a brand of vodka) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My spirit animal is Grey Goose" was posted on Twitter by…
“My spirit animal is Grey Goose”
"My spirit animal is Grey Goose" (a brand of vodka) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My spirit animal is Grey Goose" was posted on Twitter by…
“My spirit animal is the Jägermeister stag”
Jägermeister is a German digestif. The Jägermeister label on bottles shows a glowing Christian cross seen between the antlers of a stag. "My spirit animal is the stag. I call him…
“My spirit animal is Wild Turkey”
"My spirit animal is Grey Goose" (a brand of vodka) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My spirit animal is Grey Goose" was posted on Twitter by…
“My sport is your sport’s punishment” (cross-country running aphorism)
"My sport is your sport's punishment" is a popular T-shirt saying worn by many runners. When football players (for example) get into trouble, the coach often has them run laps as…
“My stomach is flat. The ‘L’ is just silent”
The word "fat" is oh so close to the word "flat." "My stomach is flat. The 'L' is (just) silent" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My stomach is flat. The ‘L’ is silent”
The word "fat" is oh so close to the word "flat." "My stomach is flat. The 'L' is (just) silent" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My student friend says he’s studying forensics…” (joke)
"Forensics" sounds like "four and six," and there are jokes. "Forensics: FORENSICS is ten. (Gary Hallock)" is a jocular definition that was posted on the newsgroup…