“My mom’s sister doesn’t get Corona. She has an auntie body”
"Antibodies" have nothing to do with the bodies of "aunts," but there are jokes. The jokes became popular during the 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "Why does your…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My morning coffee contains all of my people skills”
"My morning coffee contains all of my people skills" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Please don't disturb me while I'm having my coffee. Right…
“My mortgage identifies as a student loan” (student loan forgiveness joke)
Student loan debt forgiveness became an issue at the first Democratic Party 2020 presidential debate on June 26, 2022. Joe Biden, who participated in the debates, was elected president. "FACT…
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow”
American comedian Rita Rudner said of Thanksgiving: "My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow." It's not known when Rudner first said it, but…
“My mother served nothing but leftovers; the original meal has never been found”
Calvin Trillin -- frequently described as "America's funniest food writer" -- is often credited with this joke about leftovers: "The most remarkable thing about my mother is…
“My mother taught me about the science of osmosis—‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper!’”
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" is what a parent might say to a child -- although food can't get in the mouth if it's shut. "Some of the funniest memories came from…
“My muffin top is now a pound cake”
"My muffin top is now a pound cake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has gone from fat in the middle (muffin top) to fat all around (pound cake).…
“My neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply. We got a long well”
"Got a long well" is not the same was "got along well," but there are jokes. "My neighbor and I are good friends. So we thought we share our water supply. We got a long…
“My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt”
"Asphalt" sounds like "ass fault." A pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 5, 2017: "My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb…
“My neighbor has joined the War on Drugs…on the side of drugs”
"I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs" (or "I'm joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m…
“My neighbor opened a backyard petting zoo with his bull. No one went. He was charging way too much”
Three jokes involve a bull and the pun of "charging too much." "We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much" was posted on Facebook…
“My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not”
"My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "My neighbors listen to great music. Whether they…
“My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not”
"My neighbors listen to good music, whether they like it or not" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "My neighbors listen to great music. Whether they…
“My neighbors with the fireworks celebrate the twelve days of July 4th”
Some people light fireworks both before and after July 4th (Independence Day). "My neighbors with the fireworks celebrate the twelve days of July 4th" was posted on X/Twitter by Simon…
“My nerdy friend got a Ph.D. on the history of palindromes. He is now known as ‘Dr. Awkward’”
"Dr. Awkward" is a palindrome -- that is, it reads the same backwards and forwards. "I have a Ph.D in awkwardness... Call me Dr. Awkward" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by…
“My new boss told me to be on call 24/7. I don’t mind as July 24th is ages away”
"24/7" means "24 hours a day, 7 days a week" -- all the time. It does not mean "July 24th," but there have been several jokes about that. "You work 24/7? Wow, I…
“My new credit card has this awesome theft protection…” (joke)
"My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says 'declined' whenever you use it" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter on May 13, 2012. "My…
“My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!”
A joke on the name of "badminton" has been cited in print since at least 2000: "My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!" The joke has been printed on…
“My new shadow puppet theater could make millions, but that’s just projected figures”
A business projection's "projected figures" aren't literally projected figures, but there's a popular theater joke. "I've worked out that my new shadow puppet…
“My New Year’s resolution is 1080p”
"My New Year's resolution is 1080p is a jocuar New Year's one-line saying that has been printed on several images. 1080p is the resolution for high-definition television (HDTV).…