“My new shadow puppet theater could make millions, but that’s just projected figures”
A business projection's "projected figures" aren't literally projected figures, but there's a popular theater joke. "I've worked out that my new shadow puppet…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My New Year’s resolution is 1080p”
"My New Year's resolution is 1080p is a jocuar New Year's one-line saying that has been printed on several images. 1080p is the resolution for high-definition television (HDTV).…
“My New Year’s resolution is to buy a velcro wall and I plan on sticking to it”
People often don't stick to new year's resolutions, but what if they buy something velcro? "My New Years Resolution is to buy a velcro wall...and stick to it" was posted on…
“My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier”
Many people make New Year's resolutions to lose weight, but losing weight can be difficult. "My New Year's Resolution is too either lose weight or start hanging out with fat people…
“My New Year’s resolution is to not have one”
"My New Year's resolution is to not have one" is said by many people who know that they won't keep their resolutions. "New year’s resolution is not to have one" was…
“My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’ll start tomorrow”
"My New Year's resolution is to procrastinate. I'll start tomorrow" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My new years resolution is to procrastinate less and be…
“My New Year’s resolution is to stay out of shape. Maybe I won’t stick with this one either”
Many people have a new year's resolution to lose weight, but they don't keep it. Others apply reverse psychology. "My resolution every year was to slim down and it always fail! How…
“My New Year’s resolution is to stop putting my foot in my mouth. I bet yours is to lose weight”
"My New Year's resolution is to stop putting my foot in my mouth. I bet yours is to lose weight, huh?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The speaker is…
“My New Year’s Resolutions: 1. Get my finances in order 2. Get finances”
"To Do: 1. Get my finances in order 2. Get finances" was posted on X/Twitter by Gary (Mystic Mac)🍀on November 30, 2023. The joke is that the speaker has not much money to get into…
“My new year’s revolution is to learn how to spell”
People make new year's resolutions, but this is sometimes misspelled as "revolutions." "My New Year's revolution is to always spell important words correctly, thus…
“My New Year’s revolution is to proofread more”
"Resolution" is sometimes mis-typed as "revolution." "My new year's revolution is to proofread my tweets more carefully" was posted on Twitter on December 27,…
“My new years revolution is to learn how to spell”
People make new year's resolutions, but this is sometimes misspelled as "revolutions." "My New Year's revolution is to always spell important words correctly, thus…
“My next song is about subtraction. Take it away…”
"My next song is about subtraction. Take it away..." was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on January 10, 2011. The joke originated on the Sickipedia website. "This next song is…
“My nickname at school was glue. I don’t know why, it just seemed to stick”
Many people have school nicknames. "Ever since school my nickname has been glue, and its stuck ever since" was posted on Twitter on June 20, 2012. "My nickname at school was glue. I…
“My obsession with decimals. It’s in tenths!”
"In tenths" can sound like "intense." "unless you go with a group of 10 then its in tenths" was posted on Twitter by RandaddyPurpsGrapes on March 18, 2013. "My…
“My old school bully still takes my lunch money…” (joke)
A joke about a school bully is: "To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches." That is, the old…
“My only talent is I just don’t quit”
"My only talent is I just don't quit" is a motivational saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 26, 2015. Authorship is unknown.…
“My opinion of message boards? I’m all forum!”
"Forum" sounds like "for them," and there are jokes. "What do you guys think of message boards? ....I'm all forum" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 25,…
“My origami skills are in creasing”
"Increasing" shouldn't be confused with "in creasing," but there are origami puns. "RT @SpacemanQuisp I think the popularity of origami is in creasing" was posted…
“My other bumper sticker is funny” (bumper sticker)
"My other bumper sticker is funny" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on several images. "MY OTHER BUMPER STICKER IS FUNNY" was posted on on the newsgroup…