“Jerk Chicken: Shut the fuck up. Chicken Tender: *just starts crying*”
A conversation between "jerk chicken" (a chicken that's a jerk) and "chicken tender" (a chicken with tender feelings) probably would not go well. This was posted on Twitter…
Alphebetical for "j"
“Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant…”
The 15th-century mural painting The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci shows Jesus and his disciples all on the same side of the table. "Shooting 1abt the Last Supper where Jesus asks for a…
“Jesus holds up the bread…” (joke)
A joke about the transubstantiation of Jesus -- adding mayonnaise -- was posted by huntigula on Twitter on January 5, 2015: [Jesus at Last Supper]*breaks bread* This is my body*pours wine* This is…
“Jesus is the reason for the season” (Christmas saying)
'Jesus is the reason for the season" is a saying that has been printed on many Christmas gift items. Some might have been thinking that shopping (consumerism) is the reason for the…
“Jesus saves, but the Mongol hordes” (“Jesus saves, but the Mongol hoards”)
"Jesus saves" is a popular saying and by 1965 there appeared the graffito "Jesus saves; Moses invests." A popular addition has been "Jesus saves, Moses invests, but the…
“Jesus Saves, Moses Invests”
"Jesus Saves" is a message that the Bible Society advertised since at least the 1960s. By at least 1965, someone added the following graffito to that message: "But Moses…
“Jesus took the wheel and now there’s no cheese on the charcuterie”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jesus turns water into wine. I turn wine into vomit”
The Gospel of John describes a miracle of Jesus -- the transformation of water into wine. "RT @jenfunkyjen Jesus turned water into wine. I'm going to turn decade-old boxed wine into…
“Jesus walks into a bar. The barman looks up…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke involving Jesus (who can turn water into wine) is: "Jesus walks into a…
“Jesus walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke involving Jesus (who can turn water into wine) is: "Jesus walks into a bar and…
“Jesus wasn’t a socialist. He actually fed people”
It is often claimed that Jesus was a socialist. Conservatives countered this with a meme: "Jesus wasn't a socialist. He actually fed people." "Jesus wasn't a socialist. He…
“Jesus, take the cheese wheel”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jesus, take the wheel of cheese”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jesus: *takes the wheel* The Cheesemakers: Sonofabitch.”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jet lag is for amateurs”
"Jet lag is for amateurs" is an airplane saying that has been printed on many images. American radio and television personality, television producer and film actor Dick Clark (1929-2012)…
“Jet ski hair, don’t care”
"Ski hair, don't care" (or "Jet ski hair, don't care) is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker doesn't care about hair while skiing on snow or jet…
“Jewish dropout: A boy who didn’t get his Ph.D.”
American Jewish families in the 20th century valued education. A popular joke defined a "Jewish dropout" as "a boy who didn't get his Ph.D." The joke has been cited in…
“Jews are news”
There are only about 14 million Jews in the world, or about 0.19% of the world's population. However, many news stories (and Internet discussions) involve Jews. "Jews are news" is a…
“Jews earn like Episcopalians and vote like Puerto Ricans”
"Jews earn like Episcopalians and vote like Puerto Ricans" is a paraphrase of what Milton Himmelfarb (1918-2006) wrote in the June 1973 Commentary magazine, in the article "The…
“Jews is news”
There are only about 14 million Jews in the world, or about 0.19% of the world's population. However, many news stories (and Internet discussions) involve Jews. "Jews is news" is a…