A. J. Foyt is a racing driver from Houston. He once said that he felt safer driving on the racetrack than driving on Houston expressways. The Foyt quote is on many internet sites, but usually…
"Petition" shouldn't be confused with " partition," but there are jokes. "I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition" was posted on the…
"I always feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day" was said by the actor Jack Lemmon…
"I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor" is a jocular saying that has been prints on GIFs. The saying was posted by "A…
"I feel sorry for short people," a popular joke goes. "When it's raining, they're the last to know." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1970. In 1971, the…
"I fell in love. His name is New York" is a New York City saying that has been printed on several images. "I'm so in love... and his name is New York" was posted on Twitter…
A joke has it that a person fell off a tall ladder (25 or 50 or 90 or 100 feet). Then, however, it is revealed that the person slipped on only the second rung. The ladder joke has been cited in…
Entry in progress -- B.P.: Wikipedia: Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office is an office suite of applications, servers, and services developed by Microsoft. It was first announced by Bill Gates on 1…
A "bucket list" is a list of things to do before one dies "("kicks the bucket"). The list usually doesn't involve a bucket (such as a bucket of KFC chicken), but there…
A Tesla is an electric vehicle, and it is expensive. A Tesla joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 21, 2021: "I figured out why Teslas are so expensive. It’s because they charge a…
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many students to stay at home and be homeschooled. "I fill sorry four all the kids that half to lurn from home with purunts who can’t reed, right…
"I filled up my tank with petrol this morning. Now, all my goldfish are dead" was posted on Twitter by Tina Blake on January 20, 2012. "I filled up my tank with petrol this…
"I finally found a diet plan that really works. It's called 'The Price of Food'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker doesn't eat…
Getting an "A" on an essay is great -- if that stands for a letter grade. "I have an A on my essay. only 6999 more words to go!" was posted on Twitter on November 12, 2015.…
"I've got it all together. I just forgot where I put it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I Finally Got It All Together, But I Forgot Where I Put…
"I've got it all together. I just forgot where I put it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I Finally Got It All Together, But I Forgot Where I Put…
"I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Now he'll only drink for EVIL. MT @KatMcKinley Randy Travis…
"They're finally making a documentary about the invention of clocks. It's about time!" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by drewtarvin on June 26, 2012. "Did you hear…
In the fairy tale of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears," the bears made porridge that Goldilocks ate. This comment was posted on X/Twitter by Adam on March 22, 2021: "I find it hard to…
"Off-pudding" is a pun or eggcorn of "off-putting." "A little off-pudding?" was printed in a 2000 newspaper story. "I saw Bill Cosby eating some yogurt and it was…