“I don’t believe in reincarnation. Who wants to come back as a tin of milk?”
Reincarnation has nothing to do with Carnation brand evaporated milk, but there are jokes. "Who wants to come back as a tin of milk ?????" was posted on the newsgroup…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I don’t care about mandates because I don’t date men”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some vaccine mandates. The term "mandates" has nothing to do with "man dates," but there are jokes. "no, i don't like…
“I don’t care for cheese. I’m a curdmudgeon”
A "curmudgeon" should not be confused with a "curdmudgeon" (curds + curdmudgeon), but there are jokes. "@BeerCurmudgeon cheese-curd-mudgeon" was posted on Twitter by…
“I don’t drink beer. I drink a wheat smoothie”
“I don’t drink beer. I drink a wheat smoothie" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "Beer is just a wheat smoothie, for the soul. Happy St…
“I don’t even know how to use my own credit card anymore. Tap it? Swipe it? Bop it? Twist it?”
Credit cards and debit cards used to be swiped, but now can also be inserted or tapped. It can be confusing. "First they tell me to swipe it, then to stick it, and now to tap it? Credit cards…
“I don’t even know how to use my own debit card anymore. Tap it? Swipe it? Bop it? Twist it?”
Credit cards and debit cards used to be swiped, but now can also be inserted or tapped. It can be confusing. "First they tell me to swipe it, then to stick it, and now to tap it? Credit cards…
“I don’t have a bucket list but my bikeit list is a mile long”
"I don’t have a bucket list but my bikeit list is a mile long" is a one-line biking saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't have a bucket list... but my…
“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine”
"I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine/it" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I don't have a…
“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it”
"I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine/it" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I don't have a…
“I don’t have enough coffee or middle fingers for today”
"I don’t have enough coffee or middle fingers for today" (meaning that it's a tough, disagreeable day) is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
“I don’t know how to use TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time”
"I don’t know how to use TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on clocks with hands" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
“I don’t know if Twitter has ever caused the lame to walk, but it has caused the dumb to speak”
"The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel" is from Matthew 15:31.There are…
“I don’t know the secret of happiness, but I’ve never been sad at an Italian restaurant”
"I don't know the secret to happiness, but I've never been sad at a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I don’t necessarily know the…
“I don’t like math puns. But I will make one if I half two”
"Half" is sometimes confused with "have." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on August 20, 2022: "I don’t like math puns. But I will make one if I half two."…
“I don’t like stairlifts. They drive me up the wall”
Do stairlifts drive people up a wall (an expression meaning "crazy")? "I don't think I would ever purchase a stairlift. They would drive me up the wall" was posted on…
“I don’t like to brag, but I’ve been avoiding people since way before the coronavirus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many people to stay at home and to avoid being with other people. Antisocial people felt vindicated. A joke was posted on Twitter by Snarky Mommy on March…
“I don’t like to toot my own horn, which is why I steal other people’s trumpets”
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“I don’t like whiny and cheesy people, but I do like wine and cheese people”
"I don’t like whiny and cheesy people, but I do like wine and cheese people" is a jocular one-line wine-and-cheese saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been…
“I don’t make mistakes. I make spicy decisions”
"I don’t make mistakes. I make spicy decisions" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I don’t make mistakes, only spicy decisions" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I don’t necessarily know the secret to happiness, but I do know Jesus and Mexican food…”
"I don't know the secret to happiness, but I've never been sad at a Mexican restaurant" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I don’t necessarily know the…