A lawyer joke was posted on Twitter by Marf on December 23, 2016: [Interview room]Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer presentCop: You ARE the lawyerMe: So where's my present?!…
"I'm not saying I don't like you, I'm just saying I would unplug your life support to make a pot of coffee" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine, but I do believe my body will keep moving 48 hours after my death" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m not…
The COVID-19 vaccines were developed within a year, and many people believed that there were microchips in the vaccines. Microsoft Corporation founder Bill Gates helped to develop and distribute…
A joke about work was posted on X/Twitter by @dad_hard on February 15, 2023: "I’m not super useful until I’ve had coffee, then I get jittery followed by a caffeine crash. At 11 I’m too…
"I'm not sure if I'm hungry, but I'm gonna eat anyway, just in case" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Can't decide if i'm…
Many people love garlic bread, and they believe that it can fix any meal. "Garlic bread fixes everything" was posted on X/Twitter by Nichole on May 1, 2010. " I'm pretty sure…
"I'm not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I'm pretty good at fuck ups though" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Im ok when it comes to sit…
A jocular statement on cancel culture was posted on Facebook by Chewy Smalls on March 2, 2021: "I’m offended by bills, can we cancel them!?Isn’t that how it works now?" Wikipedia:…
Some diets have "cheat days" (such as a Friday or a birthday) where the dieter is allowed to go off the diet for that day. A joke is that some "dieters" take cheat years.…
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterBill Murray @BiIIMurrayI’m pretty sure that it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a membership to a gym.12:30 PM - 21 Dec 2017
Several jokes state that a podium is a product that a salesman can stand behind. However, you stand on a podium, and you stand behind a lectern. "It must really suck to be a podium salesman.…
"I'm ready for the rest of this week! I have my umbrella, my flip flops, my mittens, my suntan lotion, my winter coat, my sunglasses, my thermals, my iced tea and my hot chocolate!"…
For some people, a "to-do list" is a short list of things that they wish to do, but will not. "I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists" was posted on…
"Single AF" usually means "single as fuck," but not always. "I’m single AF and the AF stands for And Fat. I’m just single and fat" has been posted on several…
Nissin Foods produces Top Ramen noodles; there is no "Middle Ramen" or "Bottom Ramen," but there are jokes. "When I was a kid we were so poor we could only afford bottom…
Donald Trump was elected U.S. president on November 8, 2016. He did not get along well with the mainstream media, and he called CNN (and others) as "fake news." Many people previously…
"Wow, Im so out of shape that Im winded just taking the tour of the gym!" was posted on X/Twitter by Chia (KAI-ya) on November 16, 2009. "I’m so out of shape, I got winded taking…
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…