“I joined a dating site for arsonists. I got a match straight away”
"is match.com a dating site for arsonists?" is a jocular question that was posted on Twitter by peedrinkingcrapface on February 6, 2010. "Match.com ... is that a dating site for…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I jumped off a cliff and landed on a stone clock. It was then that I knew I had fallen on to hard times”
"Hard times" doesn't usually involve a stone clock, but there are jokes. "RT @walteroho: Hard times like a stone clock #boss my #punchline :D" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I just baked you some shut the fucupcakes”
"Try my new recipe. They're called shut the fucupcakes" or "I just baked you some shut the fucupcakes" (shut the fuck up + cupcakes) is a food saying that has been printed…
“I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it feelded good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it felt good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeled good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeleded good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5. It was a pi rated DVD”
There are many "pirated" DVDs, and the word is sometimes punned as "pi" rated. "RT: @FunnyJoker: I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5. It was a pi rated DVD"…
“I just bought a jar of transparent insects. I got them at a clear-ants sale”
A "clearance" sale shouldn't be confused with a "clear ants" sale, but there are jokes. "My local shop are now selling transparent insects! There having a clear ants…
“I just bought a new answering machine. What should I ask it?”
A telephone "answering machine" does not answer questions, but there are jokes. "I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it???" was posted on Twitter by Labyrinth…
“I just bought a new television remote control with fifty buttons. I was quite surprised they allowed me to pay with buttons”
"I just bought a TV remote control with three buttons. I was surprised they let me pay with buttons" was posted on X/Twitter by Crap Jokes on July 8, 2015. The first line of the joke…
“I just bought a TV remote control with three buttons. I was surprised they let me pay with buttons”
"I just bought a TV remote control with three buttons. I was surprised they let me pay with buttons" was posted on X/Twitter by Crap Jokes on July 8, 2015. The first line of the joke…
“I just bought one of those real life sex dolls and she’s so realistic she just wants to be friends”
Some men are so unfortunate that they can't get lucky with a sex doll. "I'm terrible with women. Even my sex doll only wants to be friends" was posted on Twitter by Hasan LaLa…
“I just burned 1,200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven”
"I just burned 1,200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven" is a joke that has been printed on several ecards. "I just burned 800 calories! My microwave fried my Hot Pockets…
“I just can’t handle automatic doors”
Automatic doors open without touching them. "I just can’t handle automatic doors" was posted on Twitter by David Lamb on June 3, 2019. "I JUST CAN'T HANDLE AUTOMATIC…
“I just can’t see myself wearing camouflage”
"Can't ever see myself wearing camouflage" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Doug on July 12, 2012. "I can't see myself wearing camouflage" was posted on Twitter…
“I just caught my cat licking a bar of soap and I can only assume she’s a weirdo or she’s punishing herself for swearing again”
Why do cats sometimes lick a bar of soap? Cats clean themselves, but they don't use soap for that. Is it because cats use swear words and have to "wash out the mouth with soap"?…
“I just caught my cat licking a bar of soap and I can only assume that he’s either a weirdo or he’s punishing himself for swearing again”
Why do cats sometimes lick a bar of soap? Cats clean themselves, but they don't use soap for that. Is it because cats use swear words and have to "wash out the mouth with soap"?…
“I just cleared out some space in the freezer sounds much more productive than I had ice cream”
"I just cleared out some space in the freezer sounds much more productive than I just polished off a pint of ice cream" is a meme that has been cited since at least May 2, 2021. The…
“I just Clorox wiped a bottle of Purell and Purelled my hands cuz I touched the Clorox canister”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…