“Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a crack house for vitamins”
McDonald's specializes in hamburgers. Salads are an afterthought and McDonald's sells very few of them. "Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a crack house for…
“Going to McDonald’s for health food is like going to a crack house for vitamins”
McDonald's specializes in hamburgers. Salads are an afterthought and McDonald's sells very few of them. "Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a crack house for…
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Monday. Your regularly scheduled happiness will resume on Friday”
"We interrupt your happiness (and positivity) to bring you Monday (morning). Your regularly scheduled happiness (and positivity) will resume on Friday" is a saying that has been printed…
“Coffee (n.): A magical substance that turns ‘Leave me alone or die’ into ‘Good morning, honey!’”
"Coffee (n.): A magical substance that turns 'Leave me alone or die' into 'Good morning, honey!'" (or "Coffee (n.): A dark magical substance that turns…
“I run on coffee and dreams”
"i run on coffee and dreams" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular in 2024. "i run on coffee and dreams" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“We run on coffee and dreams”
"i run on coffee and dreams" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular in 2024. "i run on coffee and dreams" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“If I get pushed in a pool this summer I’m not swimming back up, enjoy your murder charge. Now everybody’s summer ruined”
At a pool, young adults often throw others into the pool. It is usually meant to be harmless fun. "If i get pushed in a pool this summer I’m not swimming back up, enjoy ya murder charge…
“Shut up. You’re not seizing the day. Nobody seizes a Tuesday. Psychopath”
"Shut up. You're not seizing the day. Nobody seizes a Tuesday. Psychopath" is a Tuesday saying that has been printed on many images. "Seize the day" (carpe diem) is a Latin…
“Million dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell ‘I’m just cooking!’”
Many people believe that when you're cooking, the smoke detector shouldn't go off. "Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell 'I'm just…
“Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell ‘I’m just cooking!’”
Many people believe that when you're cooking, the smoke detector shouldn't go off. "Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell 'I'm just…
“There should be a smoke detector that shuts off when you yell ‘I"m just cooking’”
Many people believe that when you're cooking, the smoke detector shouldn't go off. "Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell 'I'm just…
“If we get rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place”
"If we get rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place" is a jocular saying, with a pun on "the world would be a better place." Authorship is unknown. "Now…
“I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice”
It's an old proverb that people should learn from the mistakes of other people. "I learn from the mistakes of people who take/took my advice" is a jocular saying that has been…
“Let’s get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake”
"Let's get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people do not like mornings and want to sleep more.…
“Which sailors blow their noses the most often?”/“The anchor chiefs.”
"Handkerchief" shouldn't be confused with "anchor chief," but there are jokes. "What do sailor's use to blow their noses? Anchor-chiefs" was posted on…
“Doctor’s offices be like, ‘Show up 15 minutes early so the doctor can see you 45 minutes late’”
"Why doctors offices be like get there 15 minutes early why you're not even about to get seen until 45 minutes after your appointment time? 😡" was posted on X/Twitter by treena on…
“Get your dad what he really wants this Father’s Day by turning off the lights when you leave a room”
A Father's Day saying was posted on X/Twitter by Mike Primavera on June 17, 2015: "Get your dad what he really wants this Father's Day by turning off the lights when you leave a…
“Celebrating Father’s Day by turning off every light in the house”
A Father's Day saying was posted on X/Twitter by Mike Primavera on June 17, 2015: "Get your dad what he really wants this Father's Day by turning off the lights when you leave a…
“This Father’s Day, impress your dad by turning off lights, fan, AC, everything. And sit in dark, sweating!”
A Father's Day saying was posted on X/Twitter by Mike Primavera on June 17, 2015: "Get your dad what he really wants this Father's Day by turning off the lights when you leave a…
“What do sailors use to blow their noses?”/“Anchor-chiefs.”
"Handkerchief" shouldn't be confused with "anchor chief," but there are jokes. "What do sailor's use to blow their noses? Anchor-chiefs" was posted on…