“The only thing not delivered by a truck is a baby”
"The only thing not delivered by a truck is a baby" is a jocular saying that has been printed on bumper stickers. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2000. "If you…
“Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents…” (joke)
A popular joke is told about cars and accidents: "Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents. Accidents in the back seats of cars cause children." The joke was included in a list…
“I am known at the gym as the ‘before picture’”
"I am known at the gym as the 'before picture'" is a jocular line. The "before picture" means someone who is out of shape, before training. "I am known at the gym…
“Why doesn’t Jesus play hockey?” (joke)
A frequently told hockey joke has been cited in print since at least 2000: Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?A: Because he's afraid of being nailed to the boards. An anti-joke of this was…
“High school teams adjust next game; college teams next half; NFL teams next series”
Miami (FL) Herald sportswriter Armando Salguero, in January 2012, compared the high school football game to the faster college game to the even faster NFL game: "There's an old adage…
Four Continents at U.S. Custom House—Who posed for America?
The "Four Continents" group of statues (Africa, America, Asia and Europe) by sculptor Daniel Chester French for the Alexander Hamilton U.S. Custom House in lower Manhattan were put in…
“Knowledge is like underwear—have it, but don’t show it off”
"Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Knowledge is like underwear.…
“My job is secure. No one else wants it”
"My job is secure. No one else wants it" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts and bumper stickers. "Certainly your job issecure, Argyle -- no one else wants it!"…
“There are two kinds of pedestrians—the quick and the dead”
"The quick and the dead" is a biblical saying. "There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick (i.e., those quick enough to get out of the way) and the dead" is an old joke.…
“Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in Whiskypedia”
"Whiskeypedia" (whiskey + Wikipedia) was cited on Twitter on March 4, 2009. "Vodkabulary" (vodka + vocabulary) was cited on Twitter on April 15, 2010. "Alcohol?? Its not in…
“Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory”
Kids often enjoy fast food; for adults, it's an admission that they can't (or won't) cook. "Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you…
Great Accumulation
The term "Great Accumulation" refers to central banks buying foreign exchange reserves. China's central bank, for example, bought large amounts of dollars in the early 2000s, but…
“One day, I’ll solve my problems with maturity. Today. it’s with alcohol”
"One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was cited on Twitter on…
“I’m a graduate, so a thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains”
Comparing a graduate with a thermometer is an old joke. "Thermometers are not the only things which are graduated and get degrees without brains" was cited in the Cornell Widow college…
“My hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner”
"My hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner" is a jocular line that has been printed on shirts."My favourite hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner" was cited on Twitter on…
“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!”
"Unpossible" is often used as a joke that a poor English speaker uses for "impossible." Judge's Library, a New York City humor magazine, published in 1909: English As She…
“Where did you find a Chinese waiter who speaks Yiddish?” (Jewish restaurant joke)
A classic Jewish deli joke involves a Chinese waiter who speaks perfect Yiddish. An amazed customer asks the owner how he managed to find such an employee. "Shhh!" says the owner.…
Chowmeinerie or Chowmeinery (a Chinese restaurant)
Chinese restaurants serving chow mein used to crowd Broadway around Times Square. "Chowmeinerie" was cited in G. D. Seymour's New York City newspaper column in January 1929.…
Spaghetteria (restaurant serving spaghetti)
A "spaghetteria" is an eating establishment that serves spaghetti. The term might have started in New York City. The New York (NY) Evening Post stated in 1928: "The cafeteria started…
Chow Mein Street (Broadway)
Chinese restaurants serving chow mein used to crowd Broadway around Times Square. "Chow-Mein Street" (a street where Chinese people live) was cited in the New York City humor magazine…