“Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil”
"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil" has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and ecards. "Knowledge is power. Power corrupts.…
“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it”
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it" is a jocular line that has been printed on posters and ecards. New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield…
“I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going”
"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" is a jocular line that has been printed on bumper stickers. The line -- often given in lists of…
“When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?”
"When you wait for a water in a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "When we wait for a waiter in restaurant,…
Death’s Thoroughfare (Mulberry Street)
Mulberry Street in Manhattan was called "Death's Thoroughfare" by the Board of Health in the 19th century, but several streets with tenements also deserved the title. The Sun (New…
“I eat tacos over a tortilla so when stuff falls out, BOOM!, another taco”
"I eat tacos over a tortilla so when stuff falls out, BOOM!, another taco" is a jocular line that has been printed on ecards. "Hey everyone, start eating tacos over a tortilla so…
“A bad settlement is better than a good trial”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksDufief's Nature Diplayed:Volume I:The Spanish language, la gramática inglesa, and the English readerBy Don Manuel Torres and, L. HargouPhiladelphia, PA:…
“Hakuna Ma’Vodka. It means no memories”
"Hakuna Ma'Vodka. It means no memories for the rest of your day/night" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts. "Hakuna matata" is Swahili for "no…
“Bad weather always looks much worse through a window”
"Bad weather always looks much worse through a window," wrote Bronx-born John Kieran in Footnores on Nature (1947). The quote has been frequently cited, although the word "much"…
“Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering”
The Jewish people must love suffering, it's often said, because they have so much of it. A popular joke is: Q: Why don't Jews drink? A: It interferes with their suffering. The joke was…
“How many bathroom-window curtains must die needlessly to clothe golfers?”
Some people in sports -- especially golfers -- are known to be terrible dressers. "How many more bathroom-window curtains must die needlessly to clothe golfers?" was credited to Mike…
Philanthropreneur (philanthropist + entrepreneur)
A "philanthropreneur" (philanthropist + entrepreneur) is someone who, through business, invests in charitable causes. The Philanthropreneur Newsletter was trademarked with a first use in…
“If there’s a bar where everybody knows your name, you’re probably an alcoholic”
"If there's a bar where everybody knows your name, you're probably an alcoholic" is a jocular saying that has been printed on GIFs." The American television sitcom Cheers…
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe coffee is addicted to ME?”
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe coffee is addicted to ME?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on posters and T-shirts. "i like to think that the coffee is addicted to…
Have Yachts (from “haves and have nots”)
The world has "haves" (the rich) and "have nots" (the poor). A new category is sometimes added -- the "have yachts" (mega-rich). A battle between the "haves"…
“I’m a chemical engineer. I convert beer and wine into urine”
The "convert beer into urine joke" has been popular since at least the 1990s. About 2008, a joke called the "Wisdom of a Retiree" circulated from an uncredited source:…
“When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance”
Several businesses require pay in advance. A popular 1915 joke involves a doctor: She -- I saw the doctor today about my loss of memory.He -- What did he do?She -- Made me pay in advance. -- London…
“I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever”
"I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on posters and ecards. The "vowel movement" (vowel…
Sailor Sandwich
The "sailor sandwich" began in 1943 at the New York Deli (originally "New York Delicatessen") in Richmond, Virginia, where it was served to the many sailors who were customers…
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life”
"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life" is a popular one-line saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1977. 27 October…