“A hospital is no place to be sick”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Samuel GoldwynSamuel Goldwyn (born Szmuel Gelbfisz (Yiddish: שמואל גלבפֿיש); August 17 1879 – January 31, 1974), also known as Samuel Goldfish,…
“Our comedies are not to be laughed at”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Carl LaemmleCarl Laemmle (krl.lɛm.li/; born Karl Lämmle; January 17, 1867 – September 24, 1939) was a German pioneer in American film making and a founder…
“Overweight is something that sort of snacks up on you”
"Overweight is something that sort of snacks up on you" was cited in Earl Wilson's syndicated entertainment column in September 1974 and credited to Kirk Kirkpatrick (probably…
“The brain never stops working until you start to speak in public”
A popular public speaking joke was cited in print in March 1949 and credited to Dublin Opinion: "The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never…
“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction” (joke)
American comedian Rita Rudner used a successful line in her routine by at least 2000: "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's…
“I ate at a family restaurant. Every table had an argument going”
Manhattan-born comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) wrote in his bestselling book, Brain Droppings (1997): "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument…
“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running”
A hospital stay is expensive, and the comic line goes: "A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running." Variety columnist and author Frank Scully (1892-1964) was credited with…
“Three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win, you can lose or it can rain”
New York Mets manager Casey Stengel (1890-1975) was quoted by sportswriter Jim Murray in May 1962: "Now there's three things you can do: you can win or you can lose. Or it can rain."…
“We are launching this innovation for the first time”
New York City Mayor Jimmy Walker (1881-1946), who served from 1926 to 1932, is infrequently quoted for saying, "We are launching this innovation for the first time." The alleged quote…
“A lot of people my age are dead”
Former New York Yankees baseball manager Casey Stengel (1890-1975) was the league's oldest manager when he took that position on the expansion New York Mets. For Stengel's 74th birthday…
“Grape or grain, but never the twain”
'Never mix the grape and the grain" -- that is, do not mix a grape drink (such as wine) with a grain drink (such as beer) -- is a proverb that has been popular since at least the 1940s.…
“Don’t fail to miss tomorrow’s game”
American baseball pitcher and broadcaster Dizzy Dean (1910-1974) was known for his colorful use of language. He sometimes ended his shows with: "Fans, don't fail to miss tomorrow's…
Buffalo (city name etymology)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wiktionary: BuffaloEtymologyProbably from buffalo (Bison bison), since both cities are in regions that had wild herds at the time the names originated. Buffalo, New York…
“The Brooklyn Dodgers have three on base.”/“Which base?”
On August 15, 1926, in a game at Ebbets Field against the Boston Braves. the Brooklyn Dodgers had the bases loaded. Babe Herman (1903-1987) hit a ball that the runners thought would be caught. Hank…
“All pro athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity”
Professional ice hockey player Gordie Howe (1928-2016) said in 1967 that teammate Ted Lindsay was a "great bi-linguist -- he's always been well versed in English and profanity." In…
“Half the game is mental, the other half is being mental”
Entry in progress -- B.P. "Ninety percent of this game is half mental" is a saying that was popular in baseball in the 1970s. Wikipedia: Jim McKennyJames Claude "Howie" McKenny…
“Pair off in threes”
"Pair off in threes" is a jocular line that several coaches have given to their players. American football player and coach Ernie Godfrey (1892-1980) was credited in 1937 for "Now…
“Would the fans along the outfield railing please remove their clothes?”
During a game at Yankee Stadium in May 1946, fans in the front row of the outfield left their coats over the railing. Public address system announcer Arthur “Red” Patterson said: "“Will…
“His limitations are limitless”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Danny OzarkDaniel Leonard Ozark, born Daniel Leonard Orzechowski (November 24, 1923 — May 7, 2009) was an American coach and manager in Major League Baseball.…
“If by free spirits you mean an open bar, then yes I love free spirits”
"Free spirits" usually doesn't mean "open bar," but this is a subject of several jokes. "Perking up at 'free spirits.' Is there an open bar somewhere?"…