“A snake walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A snake version about "walking" into a bar is: "A snake walks into a bar.…
“The doctor said I can only eat greens, so I went on a dye it”
People are sometimes advised to eat more "greens" (such as vegetables) -- so they go on a "dye it" (diet). "You should eat more greens by going on a dye-it" was cited…
“Why did 10 die?”/“Because he was in the middle of 9/11.”
A popular numbers joke is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7 8 9." A possibly politically incorrect numbers joke about the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center is: Q: Why…
“Work until your bank account looks like a phone number”
"Work until your bank account looks like a phone number" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A 10-digit telephone number (one that includes the area code) translated…
“Rhymes with orange”
"Nothing rhymes with orange" is a longstanding saying in English literature. Dictionary.com pointed out in 2015 that both "Blorenge" (a mountain in Wales) and…
“Laziness is when a person doesn’t fake that he’s working”
"Laziness is when a person doesn't fake that he's working" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an ecard and GIFs. The saying was first cited on Twitter on October 5,…
Plastic Banana
American conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh said in 1994, "phony baloney, plastic banana, good-time rock and roll pontificators - sweet justice!" Limbaugh used "plastic…
“Any sandwich is a panini if you sit on it”
Panini sandwiches are grilled sandwiches, and the bread is flat. "If you have heated seats in your car, any sandwich put on them can become a panini if you sit on it" was cited on Twitter…
“Have my doubts about this ‘smart water,’ considering how easily it’s captured and bottled”
Smartwater is sold by Glacéau (a subsidiary of The Coca-Cola Company) and consists of distilled water with electrolytes. There's a joke that was tweeted on February 6, 2012: "Today I…
Brexting (breakup + texting; breastfeeding + texting)
"Brexting" is two different types of texting. "Brexting" (breakup + texting) is from 2009. "New Word! -- Brexting: (verb) Breaking up via text message" was cited on…
Prattsville: New York’s Mount Rushmore (nickname)
American businessman Zadock Pratt (1790-1871) helped found Prattsville, New York. Pratt's Rock, in Prattsville, was made in the 19th century and features stone carvings. Pratt's Rock has…
“Why can’t New Yorkers play chess?”/“They’re missing two towers.”
A possibly politically incorrect joke about New Yorkers and the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center (also called the "Twin Towers") is: Q: Why can't New Yorkers play…
“It was meaty okra” (mediocre)
"Meaty okra" is a jocular eggcorn for the word "mediocre." "McAdams, meanwhile attributed his mediocre results to eating a plateful of 'meaty okra'" was…
“If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny…”
"If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for the rest of your life -- would you choose hard or soft tacos?" is a jocular line that has been printed on many…
“I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things”
"I'm not a procrastinator. I'm just extremely productive at unimportant things" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images and an ecard. "I'm not a…
“If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right”
British-American actor Bob Hope (1903-2003) loved golf; the Bob Hope Classic was named after him. Hope is frequently credited for having said: "If you think golf is relaxing, you're not…
“May the Fourth be with you” (Star Wars Day, May 4th)
The first Star Wars film (subtitled Episode IV: A New Hope in 1981) premiered on May 25, 1977. "May the Force be with you!" was a popular line in the film; "The Force" s a…
“I’m a Ph.D.—Pizza Hut Deliveryman”
Pizza Hut is an American pizza and pasta restaurant chain that offers sit-down service, as well as take-out and delivery. "I'm a Ph.D. -- Pizza Hut Deliveryman" is a joke a poor…
Idaho: Little Ida (nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: IdahoIdaho (/aɪdəhoʊ/) is a state in the northwestern region of the United States. Idaho is the 14th largest, the 39th most populous, and the 7th least…
Idaho: Potato State (nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: IdahoIdaho (/aɪdəhoʊ/) is a state in the northwestern region of the United States. Idaho is the 14th largest, the 39th most populous, and the 7th least…