“What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?” (joke)
A popular golf joke is: Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?A: A bad golfer goes, "WHACK! Oh shit!" A bad skydiver goes, "Oh shit! WHACK!" The…
Moneyvangelist (money + evangelist)
A "moneyvangelist" (money + evangelist) is a preacher (such as a "televangelist") who is most concerned about money. The term was coined and defined by American humorist James…
“What do you call a day old pastry?”/“Yesterdanish.”
A joke about the Danish pastry is: Q: What do you call a day old pastry?A: Yesterdanish. The joke was cited on Reddit on July 21, 2016. "#replacebeatlessongwithfood Yesterdanish" was…
“Why don’t orphans play baseball?”/“They don’t know where home is.”
A baseball riddle (a "home" plate pun) is: Q: Why don't orphans play baseball?A: They don't know where home is. "Stupid question: Why don't orphans play…
“What is a cannibal?”/“Someone who is fed up with people.”
An old joke definition of a cannibal is: Q: What is a cannibal?A: Someone who is fed up with people. The joke has been cited in print since at least July 1943, when the newspaper PM (New York, NY)…
Wunch of Bankers
The collective noun for a group of bankers is sometimes said to be "a wunch of bankers" -- a spoonerism for "a bunch of wankers." The "wunch of bankers" joke has been…
“If sex is great exercise, then why are there still fat sluts?”
"If sex is great exercise, then why are there still fat sluts?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on GIFs. "If sex is such good exercise then why is there fat sluts?"…
“If earth is the third planet from the sun, then isn’t every country a third world country?”
The term "third world" was popularized in the 1950s during the Cold War and referred to political alignments, but there's a joke: "If earth is the third planet from the sun,…
“When accountants go insane, do they start to hear invoices?
A joke about accountants/bookkeepers is: "When accountants go insane, do they start to hear invoices? The joke has been cited on Twitter since December 2, 2011. The "hear invoices"…
“When is the best time for a dental appointment?”/“Tooth-hurty (2:30).”
A classic dentist joke is: Q: When is the best time for a dental appointment?A: Tooth-hurty (2:30 ). The "tooth-hurty"/"2:30" pun has been cited since at least October 1877,…
“Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?” (joke)
A finance-themed pick-up line is: "Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest." The joke was posted by…
“I saw a sign that said ‘falling rocks.’ I tried. It doesn’t”
A "falling rocks" sign is present on some mountain roads. "Rocks" is a noun, but "rocks" as a verb is a popular pun. "I keep seeing all these signs that say…
“This is not a restaurant” (joke)
Some places are not restaurants -- that is, food is not allowed -- and there's a joke: "A student walks into the classroom, loaded down with sandwiches and soda The teacher yells,…
“What’s the best machine to impress women at the gym?”/“The ATM.”
A joke about the best machine at the gym is: Q: What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?A: The ATM. The joke might have originated with late night television comedian Jay Leno.…
“The potato farmer who crossed the mob is sleeping with the knishes”
"Sleeping with the fishes" is a mob term meaning that someone will be killed (that is, the body will be dumped in the water to "sleep with the fishes"). A joke was posted on…
“A taxi is not a restaurant” (joke)
A taxi is not a restaurant, and there's a joke: "A man enters a taxi with a hot dog. The driver says, 'Excuse me, but this is not a restaurant.' The guy replies, 'I know.…
“A classroom is not a restaurant” (joke)
A classroom is not a restaurant, and there's a joke: "A student walks into the classroom, loaded down with sandwiches and soda The teacher yells, 'What do you think you're…
“Historic preservationists make it last longer” (bumper sticker)
A popular meme in the late 1970s was how various professions "do it" -- a mild sex pun. For example, "Divers Do It Deeper." Preservation in Pink did a bumper sticker in 2011:…
“I love my country…but I think we should start seeing other people”
A popular bumper sticker for people with some disagreements with the United States is: "I love my country...but I think we should start seeing other people." The bumper sticker has been…
“Journalists do it daily”
A popular meme in the late 1970s was how various professions "do it" -- a mild sex pun. For example, "Divers Do It Deeper." A news media version is "Journalists Do It…