“I’m not cheap. I’m frugal”
"I'm not cheap. I'm frugal" is what some non-spenders say. American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) possibly popularized the saying in a June 1987 newspaper column that ended:…
“What do ghosts eat for lunch?”/“Spookghetti.”
A Halloween joke on spaghetti is: Q; What do ghosts eat for lunch?A:Spookghetti. "Spooketti" was cited in print in 1935. "What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spookghetti" was cited…
“What do ghosts eat for breakfast?”/“Dreaded wheat.”
A Halloween ghost pun on shredded wheat is: Q: What do ghosts eat for breakfast?A: Dreaded wheat. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1983. “What do ghosts eat for…
“What do ghosts eat for dinner?”/“Ghoulash.”
Goulash doesn't contain any ghouls, but there's a Halloween riddle: Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?A: Ghoulash. "Ghoul-ash" was cited in Halloween-related news stories in 1946…
“How do you make a cream puff?”/“Chase it around the block.”
A cream puff riddle is: Q: How do you make a cream puff?A: Chase it around the block. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. “How do you make a cheese puff?"/"Chase it…
“How do you make an apple puff?”/“Chase it around the garden.”
An apple puff riddle is: Q: How do you make an apple puff?A: Chase it around the garden. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1975. “How do you make a cheese puff?"/"Chase it…
“What did the apple skin say to the apple?”/“I’ve got you covered.”
An apple riddle is: Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple?A: I’ve got you covered. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. "What did the rug say to the…
“Which building does Dracula visit in New York?”/“The Vampire State Building.”
New York City's Empire State Building was the tallest building in the world when it opened in May 1931. It wasn't long before the "Vampire State Building" jokes began. A joke…
Crescent News Network (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (now called CNN) began in 1980 as the first all-news 24-hour television network. Some critics have called CNN the "Crsecent News Nrtwork" (after the Islamic symbol…
“What streets do ghosts haunt?”/“Dead ends.”
A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?A: Dead ends. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. 5 March 1994, Toronto (ON) Star, "Riddles," pg. B6, col.…
“What do little ghosts drink?”/“Evaporated milk.”
"Evaporated milk" is milk that has water removed. A popular Halloween ghost riddle is: Q: What do little ghosts drink?A: Evaporated milk. "Ghost toasties" and "evaporated…
“What would you find on a haunted beach?”/“A sand witch.”
The word "sandwich" is often spelled "sand witch" --especially around Halloween. "A sand witch -- a pretty girl in bathing costume" was printed in many newspapers in…
“How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?”/“With a pumpkin patch.”
A popular Halloween pumpkin riddle is: Q: How do you mend a broken jack-o'lantern?A: With a pumpkin patch! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994, when it was printed in many…
“What’s the coolest vegetable?”/“A rad-ish.”
A radish is not necessarily "rad" (as in "radical"), but there's a riddle: Q: What's the coolest vegetable?A: A rad-ish. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“What kind of vegetable is jealous?”/“A green bean.”
People get "green" with envy, and there's a vegetable riddle: Q: What kind of vegetable is jealous?A: A green bean. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2006. Sumo…
“Why was the math teacher late for school?”/“He took the rhombus.”
The math term "rhombus" sounds like "wrong bus," and there's a pun: Q: Why was the math teacher late for school?A: He took the rhombus. "Rhombus. Wrong bus?" was…
“What’s the strongest vegetable?”/“A muscle sprout.”
The Brussels sprout has a riddle: Q: What's the strongest vegetable?A: A muscle sprout. The "muscle sprout" joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. “What do you call…
“Why is history like a fruit cake?”/“Because it’s full of dates.”
A popular fruit cake joke is: Q: Why is history like a fruit cake?A: Because it's full of dates. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. Google Books1001 Really Stupid JokesBy…
“What did the lettuce say to the celery?”/“Quit stalking me!”
A popular pun about the celery stalk is: Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?A: Quite stalking me! A form of the joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in May 1985. Google BooksMay…
“Why did the baby ganoush grow up big and strong?”/“It had good auber-genes.”
Eggplant is also called aubergine, and there's a joke: Q: Why did the baby ganoush grow up big and strong?A: It had good auber-genes. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2011.…