“Eat, drink and be thankful”
"Eat, drink and be merry" is a biblical saying. "Eat, drink and be thankful"is a popular Thanksgiving saying that has been printed on many images. "Eat, drink and be…
“Why did the police arrest the turkey?”/“They suspected it of fowl play.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?A: They suspected it of fowl play. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2000. Google Groups:…
“Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother’s tasted better the day before”
American comedian Rita Rudner said of Thanksgiving: "Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before." It's not known when Rudner first said…
“Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving”
"First Thanks, Then Giving" sermons were made at several churches during Thanksgiving in November 1957. A full Thanksgiving expression was published in the book Speaker's Desk Book…
“He who thanks with lips thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving comes from the heart”
A Thanksgiving rhyme has been printed on many images: "He who thanks but with the lipsThanks but in part;The full, the true Thanksgiving Comes from the heart." The short poem is from…
“Thanksgiving is for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory”
A thanksgiving saying credited to "anonymous" has been printed on many images: "Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a…
“If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?”/“A poul-tree.”
"Poultry" is often given in pun form as "poul-tree," as in the Brooklyn (NY) Daily Eagle on December 13, 1867: "Holly is the most popular tree at Christmas time; but on…
“Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?”/“Apple sigh-der.”
A Thanksgiving riddle about apple cider is: Q: Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?A: Apple sigh-der. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006. Brownielocks -- Thanksgiving Jokes and…
“There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.”
"There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American" is a paraphrase of O. Henry (the pen name of William Sydney Porter, 1862-1910). The words come…
“What’s the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table?”/“Nap-kins.”
A riddle about the Thanksgiving table is: Q: What's the sleepiest thing at the Thanksgiving table?A: Nap-kins. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006. Brownielocks --…
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year”
A "Thanksgiving Sermon" has been cited since the 1860s, and begins: "My Friends: Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the…
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow”
American comedian Rita Rudner said of Thanksgiving: "My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow." It's not known when Rudner first said it, but…
“Gobble ‘til you wobble” (Thanksgiving dinner saying)
"Gobble 'til you wobble" (or "Gobble till you wobble") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The Thanksgiving expression has been cited in print since at least…
“Why did the police officer smell?”/“Because he was on duty.”
A police officer riddle is: Q: Why did the police officer smell?A: Because he was on duty. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2006. Only SimchasP.S. Why did the policeman…
“What’s the hardest thing about skydiving?”/“The ground.”
A riddle about the sport of skydiving is: Q: What's the hardest thing about skydiving?A: The ground The riddle was posted to the newsgroup rec.skydiving on February 23, 1998. Google Groups:…
“How do trees get on the internet?”/“They log in.”
An internet riddle is: Q: How do trees get on the internet?A: They log in. "Q: How do trees get onto the internet? A: They log on" was posted to the newsgroup alt.cuddle on October 7,…
“Two deer walk out of a gay bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A deer version is: "Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One turns to the other and says,…
“Hey girl, are you in the proletariat? Because I feel an uprising in my lower class”
A joke pick-up line from German philosopher and economist Karl Marx (1818-1883) was posted on Twitter on November 11. 2009: Pick up line of the day...Karl Marx: "When do you get off work?…
“We’re talking about a wonderful day when no one diets. Why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in a Thanksgiving newspaper column in November 1981: "Sometimes I feel the real meaning of Thanksgiving is lost in a flurry of turkey, prayers…
“The hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the almonds”
"The hardest part about being vegan is having to wake up at 5am to milk all the almonds" is a jocular line about almond milk that was posted on Twitter on May 24, 2013. "The hardest…