“How does the man on the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot”
A parking joke is: "Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot." The joke was posted on Twitter by Mr. Drinks On Me on March 26,…
“Oh my God, a talking sausage!” (joke)
"The sausage joke" -- as the joke is sometimes called -- is really an anti-joke: "Two sausages are frying in a pan. One sausage says, 'Boy, it sure is hot in here.' The…
“How does the man in the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?”/“Thistle have to do!”
An animal riddle (frequently told at Easter) is: Q: What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to east?A: "Thistle have to do!" The "thistle" pun has been cited in print…
“Checking social media at work is our generation’s smoke break”
Workers in the 1950s took smoke breaks. Workers in the 21st century take breaks for other reasons, frequently associated with social media. "I have decided that the Internet is this…
“Why did the cow cross the road?”/“To get to the udder side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A cow version is: Q: Why did the cow cross the road?A: To get to the…
“There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator” (math joke)
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator (Only a fraction of people will find this funny)" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“What kind of underwear should you wear during an eclipse?”/“Fruit of the moon.”
A solar eclipse riddle is: Q: What kind of underwear should you wear during an eclipse?A: Fruit of the moon. The joke was posted by Boys' Life magazine on August 16, 2017. Wikipedia: Fruit of…
“If you do pass the McKinley bill, we shall have to come over to your country and thrash you”
On "National Tell a Joke Day" (August 16, 2017), the Library of Congress Blog told the story of what could be the first audio recording of a joke. The joke concerned the Tariff Act of…
“Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life”
"Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life" is a jocular programming saying that has been printed on many images. Michael Sinz (Amiga…
“What famous Greek might have invented baseball?’/“Homer.”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What famous Greek might have invented baseball?A: Homer. "That old Greek feller, Homer, the one who invented Baseball Batting averages, or something" was printed…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“I don’t see why there aren’t marches against fat shaming…” (joke)
A joke about marches -- and fat people -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 19, 2017: "I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming. Because…
“You should get an employee discount for using self-checkout in a store”
"You should get an employee discount for using self-checkout in a store" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "If I use self checkout at home depot shouldn't I…
“As I get older, I remember all the people I’ve lost. Maybe a tour guide career wasn’t for me”
A jocular line about being a tour guide was posted on Twitter by Brynnester™ on August 11, 2017: "As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to…
“The American flag on the moon has turned white. It’s now a French flag”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- JokesThe American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiationsubmitted August 17, 2017 by BrokeBorkLensarNow it looks like the French landed on the moon
“Any guy who plays heavy metal at work is office rocker”
"Off his rocker" (meaning a crazy person) sounds like "office rocker." "My boss traded in his desk chair for a recliner & became addicted to playing 'Guitar…
“New York strip—how does a steak get a dance name?”
A "New York strip steak" has nothing to do with a New York strip club (although some clubs serve the steak), but there are jokes. "When I'm in a steak house I order the NY…
“What’s the difference between EA and North Korea?” (gaming joke)
Electronic Arts Inc. (EA) is an American video game company, and many gamers have criticized its product launches. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 18, 2017: Q: What's the…