“What did the cauliflower bank robber say to the broccoli getaway driver?”/“Floret.”
The word "floret" (a cluster of flower buds) is pronounced in English as "floor it." In French, the word "floret" sounds like "floor-ay." There have been…
“Barbecue sauce is the evolved form of ketchup”
Barbecue sauce is often compared with ketchup. "Bbq sauce is like the mature form of ketchup" was posted on Twitter on January 24, 2012. "BBQ sauce is just a more evolved form of…
“I quit my job working at a helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice”
"I quit my job working at a helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“Why do bees have sticky hair?”/“Because they use honeycombs.”
A riddle about honey is: Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?A: Because they use honeycombs. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1978, and has been printed on several images. Google…
“I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined him”
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
“I decided to cross the road, not because I’m brave, but because I’m chicken”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. One version is: "I decided to cross the road, not because…
“Not all gyros wear crêpes” (“Not all heroes wear capes”)
"Not all heroes wear capes" is a popular saying, meaning that not all heroes are comic superheroes such as Superman. "Not all gyros wear crêpes" '' "gyro"…
“I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined him”
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
Booporium (boo + emporium)
Target stores, beginning September 2017, called its Halloween display a "booporium" (boo + emporium), similar to "bootique" (boo + boutique). Many people, however, pronounced…
“Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone”
"Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your…
“I went bobsleighing the other day. Killed 20 Bobs”
A popular -- and obvious -- bobsleighing joke is: "I went bobsleighing the other day. Killed/Slayed/Sleighed 20 Bobs." The number of "Bobs" (or "bobs") has varied.…
“If even the inspector says ‘Pass’ on a restaurant, why should I try it?”
Health inspectors pass or fail restaurants. A joke about this is: "If even the inspector says "Pass" on a restaurant, why should I try it?" The joke was posted on Reddit --…
“First rule of Vegan Club: You tell everyone about Vegan Club”
Vegans have a reputation of telling everyone that they're vegans. “How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a popular joke. "First…
“The high-jump event is basically reverse limbo”
In limbo, the object is to go under a bar that gets lower and lower. In the high jump, the object is to go over a bar that gets higher and higher. "I just called high jump 'reverse…
“Couldn’t believe dad stole from his road worker job. But when I got home, all the signs were there”
"I never wanted to believe that my dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on August 31, 2011. The joke…
“‘A fraction of the cost’ is misleading as hypothetically, something could be 3/2 of the cost”
Businesses sometimes say that a product is being sold at "a fraction of the cost." That usually means that the product is on sale, but what is the fraction? "'At a fraction of…
“Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair”
"Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
“If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher”
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an old proverb meaning that everyone's situation in life is seemingly (if not actually) more desirable than one's…
“Latin is a language as dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Romans and now it’s killing me”
Students of Latin has long said versions of this rhyme: "Latin is a language As dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Romans And now it's killing me." A version printed in the…
“Which animal is the best at barbecuing?”/“The grilla.”
"Gorilla" can be shortened to "'grilla," which is almost like "grill." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on August 28, 2017: Q: Which animal is the best…