“Tick taco” (tick tock + taco)
A clock is said to go "tick-tock." A clock riddle is: Q: What do Spanish clocks say?A: Tick taco. The "Spanish clock" joke was posted on Twitter on July 3, 2017. "Tick…
“Did you hear about the vegan transgender? He was a herbefore”
"Herbivore" (an animal that only eats plants) sounds like "her before," and there's a transgender pun: "Did you hear about the vegan transgender? He was a…
“‘Dress for the job that you want’ is bad advice for aspiring police officers”
“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is an employment adage. However, if one wants to become a police officer, then impersonating a police officer is a criminal offense.…
“‘Dress for the job that you want’ is bad advice for aspiring police officers”
“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is an employment adage. However, if one wants to become a police officer, then impersonating a police officer is a criminal offense.…
“Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from beating my coworkers”
"Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard" is a jocular one-line saying about Fridays that has been…
“If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here, either”
"If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here, either" is a jocular one-line saying about Fridays that has been printed on many images. "If my boss…
“Why don’t pâtissiers buy cigarettes?”/“Because they profiterole their own.”
"Profiterole" (a cream puff) sounds a little like "prefer to roll." "Why don't English deserts buy cigarettes? Because they profiterole their own" was posted on…
“Why was the snowman sad?”/“Because he had a meltdown.”
A snowman riddle is: Q: Why was the snowman sad?A: Because he had a meltdown. The "meltdown" pun was posted on Twitter on November 19, 2017. TwitterFederica 🐨@xpIrcolbyReplying to…
“We used to have village idiots, but with the internet, they’ve gone global”
"We used to have village idiots, but with the Internet, they’ve gone global" isa jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The joke was said by the “Crabby…
“Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public” (prank)
A prank (sometimes done on April 1st, April Fools' Day) is eating vanilla pudding from a mayonnaise jar. "People give you the weirdest looks when you're gobbling up heaping spoonfuls…
“The pub is ten minutes from my house. However, my house is two hours from the pub”
It's often faster to walk from one's house to a pub than it is to walk from a pub back to the house -- that is, the person walking home from the pub is drunk. A joke was posted on…
“Why did the snail cross the road?”/“I don’t know. It hasn’t gotten there yet.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A snail version is: Q: Why did the snail cross the road?A: I…
“Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time and was completely shocked”
"Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time and was completely shocked" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2013. The joke was…
“I went to a vegan restaurant last night. Was told the menu was quite tasty” (joke)
Saying "the menu was tasty" doesn't necessarily mean the actual menu, but a joke was posted on Sickipedia on February 20, 2018: "I went into a vegan restaurant as I was told the…
“What did Simba (The Lion King) order for brunch?”/“A tuna frittata.”
"Hakuna Matata" is a popular song in Disney's animated film The Lion King (1994). Timon and Pumbaa, the animated meerkat and warthog duo, introduce the philosophy to young lion…
“I dropped my phone from the fourth floor, but it was on airplane mode so it landed safely”
"Airplane mode" for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“What is Pac-Man’s favorite piece of cookware?”/“A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok.”
A joke about the sound that the Pac-Man arcade game makes was posted on Reddit -- Funny on October 20, 2011: Q: What does pacman use to cook his dinner?A: Awok wok wok wok wok wok. The riddle was…
“The menu had many different kinds of food on it. So I asked, ‘Can I have a clean one?’”
A joke about the food quite literally "on the menu" was posted on Sickipedia on August 26, 2017: "The menu had many different kinds of food on it. 'Can I have a clean one?'…
“Wrote a play about weather, with 100 actors as clouds. It was overcast”
"Overcast" weather is when the sky is covered with clouds. An "over-cast" play has too many actors. There have been many "overcast" puns. "I had an audition for a…
“Bought a high definition dessert today. It was a creme Blu-ray”
"Crème brûlée" is a rich custard dessert. "Blu-ray" is a digital optical disc data storage format. The two sometimes get confused. "This dessert is much better in…