“The square root of -1 walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A math version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 28, 2018: "The square root of…
“Internet killed the video star” (“Internet killed the video store”)
"Video Killed the Radio Star" is a song written by Trevor Horn, Geoff Downes and Bruce Woolley in 1978, and was first recorded by Bruce Woolley and The Camera Club. The British group the…
“Being a good worker is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet”
“Being a good accountant/ actuary/ architect/ bailiff/ quilter/ programmer/ systems engineer/ writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet" is a saying that has been printed…
“What is the color of a hamburger?”/“Burgundy.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: What is the color of a hamburger? A: Burgundy. The pun is that the color "burgundy" contains a "burger." The joke was posted on Twitter on December 28,…
“Who’s the spiciest knight of the round table?”/“Sir Racha.”
"Sriracha" sauce is sometimes punned as "Sir Racha," the hottest knight of KingArthur's Round Table. "Oh brave sir racha, the rooster knight, please save me from my…
“Internet killed the video star” (“Internet killed the video store”)
"Video Killed the Radio Star" is a song written by Trevor Horn, Geoff Downes and Bruce Woolley in 1978, and was first recorded by Bruce Woolley and The Camera Club. The British group the…
“Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet”
“Being a good accountant/ actuary/ architect/ bailiff/ quilter/ programmer/ systems engineer/ writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet" is a saying that has been printed…
“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flatmate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
“Chicken salad is just well aged egg salad”
Chicken and egg jokes are sometimes extended to egg salad and chicken salad. "The difference between egg salad and chicken salad is fertilization" was posted on Twitter on June 8, 2009.…
Road Apple
A "horse apple" is horse manure. It's called a "road apple" when it's found in the road. "Road apples, horse dung" was cited in The American Thesaurus of…
“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flat mate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
“Why is there kosher salt, but no kosher pepper?”
There is "koshering salt" or "kosher salt," a larger grain salt used for removing surface blood from meat. However, there is no product called "kosher pepper."…
“My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They are his watch dogs”
A joke has it that a person named two dogs "Timex" and "Rolex" because they were "watch dogs." The "watchdog" pun has been cited in print since at least…
“A chicken burrito is just a breakfast burrito that was allowed to grow up”
"A chicken burrito is just a breakfast burrito that was allowed to grow up" is a one-line saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on February 26, 2018. A breakfast burrito…
“Hip hop onions are rap scallions”
If a scallion starts to rhyme, does that make it a "rap scallion"? There have been many puns. "And J.M. is an unsavory rap-scallion"/"Scallions do rap music? I did not know…
“I was eating green onions when all of a sudden, I started rhyming. They were rap scallions”
If a scallion starts to rhyme, does that make it a "rap scallion"? There have been many puns. "And J.M. is an unsavory rap-scallion"/"Scallions do rap music? I did not know…
“Some of the best moments are never captured by cameras and are not posted in any social media”
"Some of the best moments are never captured by cameras and are not posted in any social media platforms. They are kept in private and are cherished together with the best people" is a…
“May your troubles be less and your blessings be more” (toast)
An Irish blessing/toast has been cited in print since at least 1991: "May your troubles be lessAnd your blessings be moreAnd nothing but happinessCome through your door." The author is…
“I’m too embarrassed to go to my kindergarten reunion. I’ve put on, like, 130 pounds since then”
People often gain weight after they leave school and reunions can be frightening -- but a kindergarten reunion? "I declined an invitation to my Kindergarten Reunion because...well, you know,…
“Seeing a UPS truck as an adult is the childhood equivalent of seeing an ice cream truck”
Children get excited when they see an ice cream truck; adults get excited when they see a UPS delivery truck pull up. "As an adult waiting on a delivery and seeing a UPS truck pass you by is…