“Surround yourself with tacos, not negativity”
"Surround yourself with tacos, not negativity" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Just read someone's inspirational…
“Be the type of person who leaves a mark, not a scar”
"Be the type of person who leaves a mark, not a scar" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Im trying to make a mark not a scar" was posted on Twitter…
“A group of kids is called a migraine”
Do kids give parents and teachers migraine headaches? "A group of kids is called a migraine" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "A flock of kids is called a…
“The only thing that matters in wrestling are your teeth and your testicles”
“The only thing that matters in wrestling are your teeth and your testicles. Anything else, keep wrestling, stop whining" is a wrestling saying. Big 9 Conference Hall of Fame Coach Gary…
“Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing”
"Tried Blindfolded archery ? you dont know what your missing" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Martyn' Taff 'Jones on December 5, 2011. "Just tried an amazing new…
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Henny YoungmanHenry "Henny" Youngman (original Yiddish surname Yungman; 16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was an English-born American comedian and…
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money”
"Money can't buy happiness" is a proverb that has been cited in English since at least 1821. There have been many jocular additions and variations to the proverb. "What good is…
“What do you call a hotel that offers a breakfast of Eggs Benedict?”/“A Hollandaise Inn.”
"Hollandaise Inn" is a jocular name for a hotel, seemingly a combination of the names of Holiday Inn and Days Inn. The name "Hollandaise Inn" was print in newspapers in 1977,…
“Why doesn’t a scarecrow eat?”/“Because he’s already stuffed.”
A scarecrow riddle is: Q: Why doesn't a scarecrow eat?A: Because he's already stuffed. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 2, 2011. TwitterLapworth Scarecrow@lapworthcrowsWhy…
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Jackie MasonJackie Mason (born June 9, 1931) is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100…
“Nothing says ‘I mean business’ like using a shopping cart at the liquor store”
"Nothing says 'I mean business' like using a shopping cart at the liquor store" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the person is buying more than just a…
“Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on”
"Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Dear everyone else, don't judge my story based…
“I love telling cheesy jokes, but my friends are laughtose intolerant”
"Laughtose intolerant" (laugh + lactose intolerant), for when someone doesn't laugh at cheesy jokes, is a jocular term that has been printed on many images. "I dont find that…
“ATM fees are the bank’s way of making you buy back your own money”
Many people hate a bank's ATM fee. "Essentially ATM fees are you paying for your own money" was posted on Twitter on June 29, 2013. "ATM fees are like you paying to buy your own…
“What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?”/“Denis.”
A tea riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea?A: Denis. That is, the letter "T" is removed from the word "dentist."…
Grillades
Grillades and grits is a popular breakfast combination in New Orleans. Grillades has been described as fried meat, and it's often served with gravy. A recipe for "Grillades a la…
“The difference between a rebellion and a revolution is which side wins”
"The difference between (a) rebellion and (a) revolution is which side wins" is a saying that has been printed on several images. A "rebellion" is usually unsuccessful and a…
“I need an appointment.”/“How about 10 tomorrow?”/“No, I don’t need that many.”
A joke about scheduling an appointment was posted on Twitter by Marf on September 1, 2017: Me: I need a doctor's appointmentReceptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow?Me: No I…
“People tell me that my grammar stinks. What do they expect? She’s 85!”
"Grammar" sounds a bit like "grandma." A joke was posted on Twitter by English television presenter and actor Keith Chegwin (1957-2017) on July 20, 2011: "People tell me…
“Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads”
Computer pop-up ads are annoying, and many people find that mall kiosk workers hawking their items are also annoying in a similar way. "[Mall] kiosk people are the pop-up ads of…