Quarantine Coffee
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to quarantine. Many bars closed, and some products were difficult to buy. This was posted on Reddit -- Funny on April 1, 2020: "It’s…
NY Pause (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)
In response to the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, New York State Governor Andrew M. Cuomo instituted "NY Pause" on March 20, 2020, that closed non-essential businesses. On April 6, 2020,…
“99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people”
"99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2014. The speaker is not intelligent --…
“I’ve spent 2 weeks hanging out with myself and i am so sorry to every person i spent time with”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people staying at home. This was posted on Twitter by trish on April 1, 2020: "i’ve spent 2 weeks hanging out with myself and i am so…
Coronapocalypse (coronavirus + apocalypse)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was viewed as an apocalypse by many, resulting in the portmanteau term "coronapocalypse" (coronavirus + apocalypse). "Yep, coronapocalypse or not,…
“I bought a knife that can cut through four loaves of bread at once. It’s a four loaf cleaver”
"Four loaf cleaver" is a spoonerism for "four leaf clover." The jocular "four loaf cleaver" has been cited in print since at least 1948 and 1957. Newspapers.com25 June…
“Why did the cannibal die of COVID-19?”/“Too many handshakes.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people avoid handshakes. A cannibal possibly makes handshakes (a shake containing hands). A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 4, 2020: Q:…
“Quarantine Day 20: Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind by just staring at it”
"I've melted an ice cube just by staring at it!!! Took a little longer than I thought it would" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Jodge Ledesma (and others) on March 13, 2012.…
“Turns out my three hobbies are eating at restaurants, shopping at nonessential businesses…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic prevented many people from enjoying their favorite hobbies. "New twitter bio: my hobbies include touching my face, touching face and also touching my…
“It’s like I’m 16 again. $5 is gas money & we all grounded” (quarantine joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused home quarantine. The price of gas dropped significantly. This was posted on Facebook by Areol Clayton on March 30, 2020: "It’s like I’m 16 again.…
“The buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home -- and get fat. "The buttons on my jeans are the only ones following social distancing" was posted on Twitter by…
“Who called them dad jokes instead of popcorn?”
"Dad" is sometimes called "pop." Bad jokes are sometimes called "corn." "What idiot called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?" was posted on Twitter by THE…
“Social distancing is boring. ‘Exiled for the good of the realm’ sounds much more interesting”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused social distancing. "'Exiled for the good of the realm' sounds a lot cooler than 'self-isolation' or 'social distancing'…
“Children born 9 months from now should be referred to as ‘children of the quarn’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to quarantines, and many people speculated that there would be a baby boom nine months later. "Children of the Quarn" -- a pun on the American…
“Who called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?”
"Dad" is sometimes called "pop." Bad jokes are sometimes called "corn." "What idiot called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?" was posted on Twitter by THE…
“How do dancers ensure job continuity during the Covid crisis?”/“They twerk from home.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to work from home. The joke "twerk from home" had been used earlier, but was popularized during this time. "Twerk From…
“How do Indian restaurants stay open without their naan essential staff?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many workers deemed "non-essential" to stay at home. This has nothing to do with "naan" (bread), but there are jokes. "Can't…
“This Quarantine is getting old. So old, in fact, that is it starting to become a Quaranadult”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many quarantines. There is no "teen" in the word "quarantine," but some have used "quaranadult" (quarantine + adult). A…
Quaranchildren (quarantine + children)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many quarantines. There is no "teen" in the word "quarantine," but some have used "quaranadult" (quarantine + adult). A…
“COVID-19 hit during allergy season. I can’t tell if I have 5 days to live or need to take Claritin”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic had some people confusing the symptoms with seasonal allergies. "Who the hell put Corona virus and allergy season in the same month? I don’t know if I…