“Good morning, inmates” (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic quarantine)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic locked people in their homes, as if they were in jail. "Good morning inmates" was posted on Twitter by The real me on February 26, 2020. "Good…
“Standing less than 6 feet apart is the new first base”
"First base," in sexual terms, is usually kissing. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic encouraged "social distancing" (six feet away) and changed the bases. "Is the new…
“Let’s not tell some people when quarantine is over”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Some people were happy not to see some other people. "Let’s not tell them when the quarantine is over" was posted on Twitter…
“Bumping elbows is the new first base”
"First base," in sexual terms, is usually kissing. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic encouraged "social distancing" (six feet away) and changed the bases. "Is the new…
“You thought dogs were hard to train? Look at all the humans who can’t sit and stay”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home, like their pets. "People say dogs can be hard to train, well look at all the humans now who cant 'sit' &…
“Quarantine is when you restrict the movement of sick people. Tyranny…of healthy people”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many quarantines. "Quarantine is when you restrict the movement of SICK people. Tyranny is when you restrict the movement of HEALTHY people"…
“Quarantine is when you lock down the sick. Tyranny is when you lock down the healthy”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many quarantines. "Quarantine is when you restrict the movement of SICK people. Tyranny is when you restrict the movement of HEALTHY people"…
“Not to brag, but we haven’t been late for anything in over two weeks”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many closures of businesses and events. "During self-isolation, I have not been late for anything in a whole week and that's a huge personal…
“Gonna ask my momma if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made 2020 a difficult year for many people. "Bruh i need my momma to slap me into next year i cant deal" was posted on Twitter by razzle_dazzle876 on…
“Popcorn is probably just as unique as snowflakes”
Are popcorn kernels unique, like snowflakes? "Popcorn is like snowflakes: every piece is unique! and tasty" was posted on Twitter by Kylie Atherstone on September 4, 2009. "Popcorn…
“Quarantine is when you restrict the movement of a sick person. Tyranny…of a healthy person”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many quarantines. "Quarantine is when you restrict the movement of SICK people. Tyranny is when you restrict the movement of HEALTHY people"…
“I wish I was rich enough to eat out all the time like the homeless do”
Some people want to eat out (at restaurants) all the time, but cannot afford it. The homeless don't have a home, so they, technically, always eat out. "Homeless people would save a lot of…
“My mailbox is under quarantine. Not accepting bills at this time”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Some people posted jocular signs on their mailboxes. "Tape a notice to your mail box: sorry at this time my mailbox is under…
“They say you can’t fix stupid. Turns out you can’t quarantine it, either”
"You can't fix stupid" is a saying of American stand-up comedian Ron White. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines, and many people were quarantined with…
“Anyone else starting to get a tan from the light in your refrigerator?”
Fat people open the refrigerator a lot. "#YouKnowYourFat when u get a tan from the light in ure fridge" was posted on Twitter by Michael a.k.a The Malt Slut on December 22, 2009. "I…
“The drop in gas prices during this lockdown is like a bald man winning a hairbrush”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in gas prices going down, but people were locked in their homes and couldn't go anywhere. "The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like…
“The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like a bald man winning a hairbrush”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in gas prices going down, but people were locked in their homes and couldn't go anywhere. "The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like…
“Bologna is just a hot dog pancake”
Bologna has frequently been compared to hot dogs. "I figured bologna was basically a cold, flat hot dog" was posted on the newsgroup rec.food.cooking on February 5, 1998. "Unrelated:…
“Bologna is just a flat hot dog”
Bologna has frequently been compared to hot dogs. "I figured bologna was basically a cold, flat hot dog" was posted on the newsgroup rec.food.cooking on February 5, 1998. "Unrelated:…
“2020 has shown me you don’t need fun to have alcohol”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to many people quarantining at home. Liquor stores were left open, and many people drank. "Quarantine has shown me that you really don’t need fun to…