“I accidentally bought too many art supplies. I’m having an excess stencil crisis”
"Existential" shouldn't be confused with "excess stencil," but there are jokes. "I had too many drawing templates and now I can't find any of them. I have an…
“Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peak-a-boo accident?”/“To the I.C.U.”
"ICU" (Intensive Care Unit) sounds like "I see you." "Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on October 24, 2014. "Where do you…
“No Shoes, No Shirt, No Mask, No Service” (business sign)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made face masks required in many business establishments. The sign "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" became "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Mask, No…
“My wife is leaving me because of my Star Wars obsession. I said, ‘May divorce be with you’”
"May the Force be with you" is a famous line from the Star Wars films. "May divorce be with you" is a popular joke. "May Divorce Be with You" was an episode of the…
“No Shirt, No Shoes, No Mask, No Service” (business sign)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made face masks required in many business establishments. The sign "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" became "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Mask, No…
“Irony is drawing a tree on paper, with a pencil, on a wooden desk, in a wooden house, in the woods”
"Irony is drawing a tree on paper!" was posted on Twitter by Romeo Grayson on June 29, 2011. "On a wooden desk. RT @lotyslove: With a pencil. RT @americanmade65: Irony; Drawing a…
“Don’t get Covid-19. They are releasing Covid-20 in September and it’s much better”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was called COVID-19. Some people quickly assumed a COVID-20, as if it were a movie or a software release. "Breaking news: they just told me, don't get…
“An alpaca had a parasite removed from around its mouth. It was alpaca lip tick”
"Apocalyptic" shouldn't be confused with "alpaca lip tick," but there are jokes. "—Have you seen that film about what happened after the alpaca had a parasite…
“I like my women how I like my Coronavirus…” (NSFW joke)
A joke about the coronavirus (COVID-19) was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 12, 2020: "I like my women how I like my covid19 and easily spread." A slightly different version was posted…
“I like my women how I like my Covid…” (NSFW joke)
A joke about the coronavirus (COVID-19) was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 12, 2020: "I like my women how I like my covid19 and easily spread." A slightly different version was posted…
“A piece of fruit held up a bank and stole some money. It was a strobbery”
"Strawberry" is sometimes pronounced as "strobbery." "A piece of fruit held up a bank and stole some money. It was a strobbery" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on…
Namaske (namaste + mask)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required many people to wear face masks. A new portmanteau word was "namaske" (namaste + mask). "The mask i wear to protect you recognizes the mask…
“Eat beans, not beings”
"Eat beans, not beings" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. The slogan was used in December 1989 by the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).…
“The Department of Health is seeking married people to educate on social distancing”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing requirements. Many long-married people had prior experience with this. "Irish couples married more than 7 years being hired by…
“My COVID-19 is the most weight I’ve gained since my Freshman 15”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home lockdowns. Many people did not get enough exercise and ate a lot, gaining weight similar to a college student's "freshman 15"…
“Making a mask mandatory after 2 months of pandemic is like wearing a condom after she’s pregnant”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some laws requiring the mandatory wearing of face masks. Many of these requirements came in April 2020. "Making a mask mandatory months after the…
“Fencing: The perfect Covid-19 sport. 1. masks 2. gloves 3. closer than 6ft, you stab them”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw people play many indoor games, but one sport was suggested by some people as especially appropriate. "Best sport for the pandemic? Fencing! You get to…
“What do you call karate for amputees?”/“Partial Arts.”
A martial arts riddle is: Q: What do you call karate for amputees?A: Partial Arts. "Is karate for amputees called partial arts?" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on July 6, 2010.…
“Animals are here with us, not for us”
"Animals are here with us, not for us" is a vegan slogan that has been printed on many images. "Mankind must change its thinking -- animals are here with us, not for us!" was…
“You’re being conditioned to believe freedom is selfish”
"You're being conditioned to believe freedom is selfish" was posted on Twitter by Sal the Agorist on April 29, 2020. No explanation was given, but it was said during the 2019-20…